#the sheer chaos that is this video AND IT'S ONLY TWO MINUTES!!!

[fukutomichi]

The Rings of Power' Cast Debates Whether Sauron Is "Brat"

[jenosonlywife23]

Debut Day Dreams

The crowd roared like a storm, a tidal wave of emerald lightsticks rising and falling with every beat of the music. He stood in the center of it all, a figure that radiated an almost unfair magnetism. The blazer clung to his frame in all the right ways, his tie slightly askew like he’d just sprinted out of a romantic drama and landed directly into your fantasies. His silver hair, disheveled yet immaculate, caught the stage lights as though he was sculpted from moonlight itself. And then there were the glasses—those delicate, wire-rimmed frames that seemed to scream, Yes, I’m unattainable, but feel free to try.

He didn’t just stand on the stage; he owned it, exuding an effortless dominance that made your stomach twist in a way you hadn’t felt in years. He raised a hand to adjust his tie, the motion slow and deliberate, and the crowd erupted, their collective gasp audible over the deafening music.

But for you, it wasn’t just the show. It was personal.

You weren’t even supposed to be here tonight. Tickets had sold out within minutes, leaving you to sulk in your room, scrolling through endless fan edits of him that only fueled the ache of missing out. But then, two days ago, fate intervened.

Your best friend had barged into your apartment, waving a golden ticket with the triumphant glee of a lottery winner. “One ticket. Front section. You owe me your life,” they’d declared. You didn’t ask how they got it, and honestly, you didn’t care.

Now, standing amidst the frenzied sea of fans, you wondered if it was destiny. Because every move he made, every step, every glance—it all felt like it was meant to find its way to you.

Then it happened.

Mid-performance, as the music swelled and his movements became sharper, more feral, his eyes locked onto yours. You froze, the air knocked from your lungs as though he’d reached across the stage and stolen it. It wasn’t a fleeting glance; it was a look that lingered, deliberate and razor-sharp. His lips curled into a smirk, the kind that said, Yeah, I know exactly what I’m doing to you.

Your heart hammered in your chest, the noise of the crowd fading into nothingness. For a moment, it felt like the rest of the world ceased to exist. Just you and him, bound by an electric current that neither time nor space could sever.

Then he turned away, but the damage was done. Your pulse was racing, and you couldn’t tell if it was from excitement, disbelief, or sheer panic.

When the performance ended, he stepped forward for the closing ment, his voice low and smooth, carrying over the chaos. “Tonight’s been unforgettable,” he said, his gaze sweeping over the crowd like he was searching for something—or someone. “And I hope... I’ve made someone out there believe that anything is possible.”

The screams were deafening, but you caught it—the flicker of his eyes darting to your section, so brief you almost thought you imagined it. Almost.

The night spiraled into something surreal when you stumbled out of the venue, your mind replaying every second, every glance. You tried to shake it off—tried to convince yourself it was nothing more than the fantasy of a fan. But then your phone buzzed.

A notification.

You opened the app, your breath hitching as you saw it: a clip from tonight’s performance, already trending. The caption read, “Who was Jeno staring at?!” The video zoomed in on the exact moment his gaze lingered on yours. The comments were an avalanche of speculation:

“It’s the camera! Definitely the camera!”

“No way, he was looking at someone in the crowd.”

“Imagine being that person—whoever they are, I envy their whole life.”

You stared at the screen, your hands trembling. There was no way. Right? And yet, the way his eyes had pierced through the crowd, as if seeing through the chaos to find you...

The next morning, you woke to more notifications. Your mutuals had tagged you in countless posts about the clip. Someone had even DM’d you: “Is that you in the section he’s staring at? Girl, spill!!!”

Your lips pressed into a tight line. What could you even say? That it felt like he’d stripped your soul bare with a single glance? That his smirk haunted your dreams all night? That you wanted—no, needed—to know if he remembered you, too?

By the end of the week, the clip had gone viral, spawning fan theories, memes, and even amateur “body language analyses” claiming he’d definitely been looking at someone specific. Fans speculated endlessly. But deep down, you knew the truth.

And just when you thought the storm would settle, another twist.

One evening, as you mindlessly scrolled through your phone, a private message popped up. It was from a newly created account, no profile picture, no bio. Just a simple message that read:

"Did you believe me when I said anything is possible?"

Your breath caught. You stared at the message, heart pounding, fingers trembling as you typed back a single word.

"Yes."

The reply came almost instantly.

"Good. Let’s see if you believe it again."

[bookworm-2692]

Life Tracker updated for Episode 7! This one is much quicker than Episode 6 on account of not being on holiday at the time, even though there were two thirds more deaths this time. Previous posts: Session 6, Session 5, Session 4. Also Session 8 (finale) post!

As usual, close ups and commentary below the cut. I’ve also added another graph for the average time of each team, which will also be below the cut.

There was so much carnage! 45 whole deaths in a single session! Not all deaths were awarded time during the session, but Scott’s video advised that it would be added by next session, so I have taken the liberty to add all the time as I see fit, hence why Scott is back to 7.5 hours. I haven’t seen every episode yet (in fact, other than Scott, I’ve only seen those that have perma-died), so I’m not sure if anyone else’s time is a mismatch, but if so I’m happy to explain where I’m getting my time additions and subtractions from!

Now for some close ups.

First, there was enough chaos that I decided to take a close up of Session 6 and 7 together so we can properly appreciate it:

And a close up of Session 7 by itself:

So many people lost major time, so it’s interesting to see Scott’s uptick of time at the end - he ended on only 30 minutes less than he would have been if he hadn’t died at all this session. Pearl didn’t die at all, and got the kill credit for Martyn blowing himself up in a trap, so she actually ended the session 30 minutes better than she started it. Grian also did very well for himself - he killed and died so many times, but somehow ended on the exact time he would have been on if he had experienced a peaceful deathless session.

BigB, Cleo, and Martyn all ended the session 1 hour poorer than they started, and Bdubs and Scar ended 1.5 hours below where they would have been. Nosy Neighbours are thus doing super well, with Mean Gills and Clockers not too far behind, in terms of maintaining position from the start of the session.

TIES had an awful time this session, with Impulse and Tango both losing a net 2 hours, and Etho and Skizz losing a net 2.5 hours - and obviously Skizz entirely died.

Joel possibly had the worst time, losing a net 3.5 hours this session - though it didn’t help that 5 of his 7 deaths were all caused by the one person. Technically Jimmy didn’t do too badly, given he only lost a net 1.5 hours... but given that he was out of the series only an hour into the session, and also the first out entirely... it really didn’t go well for him either

I also find it interesting the sheer number of vertical lines this graph, the ones representing a death immediately followed by a kill or vice versa. I would love to figure out a way to show only one line at a time on the graph, so we can more easily see someone’s journey, but I haven’t had time to look into it yet.

Now onto the graph of the average times per team.

This one is super interesting to me, especially TIES’s line - they had the lowest average life right from the start, but somehow by Session 4, through Session 5, and for most of Session 6, they were the team with the highest average time, and then it quite literally went downhill from there. The only thing saving them from being last now is the fact that the Bad Boys are down to only a single living player, and even then Grian is doing far better than most of TIES.

It’s also interesting to me how Mean Gills had a significant time uptick at the end of both Session 6 and Session 7 (the first due to Martyn and the second due to Scott). Scott’s time was so high that it kept Mean Gills’ average time as yellow for all of Session 6 despite Martyn being red for most of it... and Martyn then got enough kills to keep it there. Mean Gills is also the only team in the entire graph to anywhere gain such consistent significant time.

These averages also coincide with the comments I made above about the time offset difference for each player from the start to end of the session. Mean Gills are doing well, but they’ve been doing well for so long that I’m sure most players are aware that they need to be a target. Nosy Neighbours are also doing well but I feel like they’ve flown under the radar, and are not a significant target right now.

Here is a close up of this graph with Sessions 1-4:

And the close up for Session 5-7:

And the Session 7 only close up:

I kept the dead players in the teams’ averages, since I think it is a better reflection of the teams’ strength as a whole, but I also created a version that excluded dead players. In those screenshots you can really see Bad Boys’ and TIES’ time jumping up at a death, instead of falling as it did here.

Here are the alternate averages graph:

And close ups:

This makes Bad Boys look a lot better, because Grian does have a lot of time... but he is also alone. And there is definitely strength in numbers. Two players at an hour and a half each can fend off an attacker more easily than a single player at three hours can... unless nerves and panic get to them, as we definitely saw this session.

Wow and I almost forgot to include the raw data for this session!

The first hour of the session:

The second hour of the session:

There is just so much death! Look at all the box outlines!! I could barely fit this data on two screens on the zoom I was on, and I did not want to zoom out further.

I also obviously have data for the averages, but it was too far away from the column with the times on it that I wasn’t sure if it would still be useful on its own? Let me know if you want to see it!

This has once again been fascinating to see, and I cannot wait to see how Session 8 will go. Will it be the last session? Will they go until everyone is dead? Will they somehow have enough people with enough time to get to Session 9? Will Mean Gills be the final two and get to play fun relaxing games like Scott was suggesting? 

Only time will tell.

[fanficfindereks]

Only a glimpse into the lives we lead- With all the wars and prophecies finally compete Will decides to take up his mom’s offer to return home for the school year for the first time since he was nine. After everything he’s been through it’s a little strange to go back to the mortal world once again, and people in his town take notice of how different he seems. Or… A series of interconnected one-shots of people from Will’s hometown noticing there’s something different about him throughout the one year he spends going to school in the mortal world.- Archive Of Our Own

A strange string of disappearing children: cult or coincidence?- "So you guys know how Drew and Lacy are big true crime fans?" Piper said, biting her lip to hide the amused smile on her face as she addressed all the demigods who had gathered together in Rachel's cave. Drew and Lacy were currently sitting with their hands over their mouths to hide their own smiles as they waited for Piper to reveal what they had discovered a few days ago, "Well one of their favorite channels did a video about us." Instantly everyone was rushing to crowd around the laptop she was holding to try and see the mentioned video. Piper shushed them quickly, fearing the noise would alert one of the patrol harpies that they were all out of their cabin after hours and with mortal technology no less. Once everyone quieted down, Piper looked at the group with a grin, "Lets watch it. " Or... Buzzfeed unsolved make a video looking into a handful of different demigods and how their disappearances all seem to mysteriously overlap with one another. When the Aphrodite cabin finds the video they gather all the other cabins together to do a watch party and maybe to cause a little chaos once they learn just how interested the country is in their current whereabouts.- Archive our Own

we'll pass around the easy lie of absolutely no regrets- Nell Brackman has been a high school guidance counselor for a long time. She’s seen troublemakers in every variant, dealt with more kids with shitty situations than she likes to think about, and practically has the understanding, comforting, yet firm tone on lock. Her wife thinks the job can be too tough on her, being the one to see Nell deal with the frustration of not being able to do more for kids who just won’t help themselves the way that they need to, but at the end of the day, there is nothing she would rather do more. That’s what she thinks most of the time, at least. The sheer chaos of Percy Jackson’s file might be something that ticks today over into one of the times where she starts feeling differently, though.- Archive of our Own

someone's halls are getting DECKED- “Paul, school let out 3 days ago, and I know damn well you just showed those kids The Muppet Christmas Carol the last few days instead of assigning them any actual work you’d have to grade. Just come over! It’s Christmas, and the last time you saw any of the family was at Thanksgiving 3 years ago. We’re your family, sweetheart, we’re supposed to be together for the holidays. You shouldn’t be spending them alone in your apartment with a cheap fake tree you bought at Lowe’s. Give me one good reason why you can’t come home, no shoddy excuses.” Cynthia said with finality. On the other line, Paul let out a shaky sigh, then went quiet for a minute. “Well?” “Mom, uh… You might want to sit down. I have some… news.” or the blofis family don't know about percy or sally. that is, until paul brings them home for the holidays.- Archive of Our Own

The Mysterious Case of the di Angelo Family-

The intro audio - a light cord being pulled, polices sirens, glass chattering - plays as the intro plays, as usual. The screen quickly changes to the usual logo on blood-splattered concrete.

Ryan's usual VO plays - "This week, we take a look at the mysterious case of the di Angelo family, a case involving one death, two vanishings, and more than a few mysterious characters." - as the accompanying text shows up on the screen.

Quick cut to Shane and Ryan, sitting in their office. Shane has his glasses on and his hair is dyed blond. He's either the weird, all-knowing kid in your lecture or the professor. Ryan looks like the kid who reminds the teacher about the homework - button-up shirt, neat hair, no self respect.

"Ooh, multiple crimes," Shane says. "Y'know, most criminals they have like- like a thing. And it gets kind of boring!" Ryan's face does something complicated

Frank-iversary- James knows it has been almost two years since he last saw Frank Zhang. If asked he would insist he wasn’t actually keeping count, but he has the exact day marked in his calendar and last year he lit a candle--vanilla, Frank’s favorite--and hoped it wasn’t insensitive considering the unfortunate fate that befell the Zhang family home a while afterwards. It’s not like he thinks about Frank all of the time, at least not anymore, but there are always those things that make him stop and ponder and hope that he is okay, wherever he is. Or, Frank probably had the most normal life prior to the events of HoO, this is the story of his eventual reunion with the friends he had to leave behind.

i used to write out things that happened in percy jackson, from the perspective of mortals, but writing it out in the style of a true crime blog

for example:

the disappearance of the di angelo siblings

jason grace found dead after 14 years missing

the whole thing with percy in book one

etc

lmk if ur interested :D

(if you have any ideas for more “cases” i could write, PLEASE lmk!!! send me an ask of it so i could answer with the case chapter)

[darks-ink]

Matt the Cat

Based on the “Matt is a cat” AU by @somegrumpynerd and @keeningthoughts / @keen-arts. A lot of scenes and plot points are taken from their various posts, as well as some (bits of) conversation. I've really enjoyed seeing their posts cross my dash and while watching Uno: Infinite this weekend got inspired to take a shot at writing a short one-shot for the AU. Anyway I kinda missed the mark on the "short" part but it was fun, so. Enjoy!

Sometimes you just have to revisit the fandom that first got you to write fanfics, back in *checks watch* 2016. Anyway I also haven't written AH fics since then so apologies if I didn't quite get everyone right.

Fandom: Achievement Hunter (RPF) Rating: Gen Words: 8,699 Additional Tags: Fake AH Crew, Alternate universe, Humor, Friendship, Mistaken identity, Canon-typical shenanigans

Summary: Hearing the stories of new crew members Jeremy and Trevor, the Fakes quickly decided that this "Matt" must be their cat. It was the only logical assumption! They were mistaken.

Also on AO3!

---

The door clicked shut behind Trevor, and he looked at the people already in the room. The Fake AH Crew were a fearsome presence, even if he had already been accepted into their midst. Him, Jeremy, standing by his side, and Matt, safe at home.

“Finally,” the big man himself, Geoff Ramsey, sighed, waving the two of them further into the room. “Come on, grab a seat. We’ve been waiting forever.”

“Well, you could’ve sent the address a little earlier than five minutes beforehand,” Jeremy snarked back, then immediately went pale as they realized what they’d done.

But Jack Pattillo, the crew’s second, just grinned back. “I like these guys. We’re keeping them, right?”

“We hired them already, I sure fucking hope so.” Geoff shot her a tired look, beckoning them inwards. “Come on dickheads, go sit down.”

“You already gave them the address to our apartment anyway,” Michael Jones pointed out, leaning back in his chair. “Bit late to tell them to fuck off now.”

“Unless we killed them,” Jack said, fake-casually.

“Please don’t.” Trevor pulled back a chair so he could sit down, and saw Jeremy doing the same from the corner of his eye. “I like being alive, personally.”

Jack hummed thoughtfully. “And it’s just the two of you, right?”

“Us, and Matt back home,” Jeremy answered dutifully, shifting in their seat to look more casual than they likely felt. “We’re all sharing the same apartment.”

“Right,” she said, a slight crease between her brows. Trevor couldn’t place its meaning. He knew it wasn’t something about the three of them living together—the crew had a similar living situation—but he didn’t know what else. Maybe that Matt, as the hacker, was staying home instead of coming over to meet the rest of the crew? Maybe they should’ve brought him here, and then back home to his set-up?

“Anyway, Geoff, go ahead and tell us the plan before you burst.”

He heaved a gusty sigh. “Yes, Jack, thank you. If we can all please focus on the job instead of the new hires?” Geoff looked around the room, then nodded resolutely. “Good. Here’s what we’re doing—"

---

Lindsay shifted slightly, leaning against their car, fingers rattling against the side of their phone. On its screen a baking video played, which they were half paying attention to. Well. Maybe a little more than half. That was fine! They could multi-task.

It had been a few weeks since their new crew members, Trevor and Jeremy, had joined. They were glad for it—the two of them had been a lot of fun to have around, and had come out of their shells quickly. Trevor looked so serious and dry but had quickly shown himself to have quick wit and a delightful weirdness to him, and Lindsay wouldn’t say no to having another non-binary crewmember around, especially one as fun as Jeremy.

Not to mention the sheer chaos those two had introduced by mentioning someone called “Matt”, who apparently lived with them, and then never saying anything else about him. Well. They thought Matt was a him. Quite frankly, they didn’t know anything about this ‘Matt’, outside of the fact that he—they?—lived with Trevor and Jeremy.

The sound of a car door thrown shut made them look up, automatically pausing the video on their phone. Speak of the devil.

Trevor threw the other door of the car shut, turning to Jeremy. “Did you give Matt water before we left?”

“Yeah,” Jeremy confirmed, shouldering their bag. “He was sleeping on the desk again when I went in.”

“He’s gonna hurt himself one of these days doing that,” Trevor grumbled, shaking his head. “He has a perfectly fine bed!”

“But why sleep in a bed if you can sleep on a desk?” Jeremy grinned, and Trevor just clicked his tongue in response as the two of them came up to Lindsay. “Hey Lindsay. Sorry to keep you waiting.”

They stuffed their phone into their pocket, the newly gained information running through their mind. “It’s fine, that’s the downside of not having you guys in the apartment yet.”

It all made sense now! Obviously Matt wasn’t a person who Trevor and Jeremy were keeping in the dark—or had informed without telling the crew. Matt was a pet. And, by the sound of it, he might’ve been a cat, even! What other pet would sleep on desks?

“True, true.” Trevor nodded at the car they were still leaning against. “Are we driving further on from here?”

“Nah, it’s just around the corner.” They pushed themself away from the car, and mentally shoved the newly gained revelation away as well. Excitement about cats would have to wait until after the job. But! They would definitely bring it up with the rest. If they invited Trevor and Jeremy into the apartment with them, obviously the two would bring their cat, and then the crew would finally have their long-awaited pet!

And Gavin would be thrilled if they gained a crew cat!

---

“You can’t just keeping saying he’s a cat without proof, Lindsay!”

“Why not? It’s the truth!” They waved their hands around, gesturing wildly. “Besides, what proof? They said it, isn’t that enough?”

“Did they say Matt is a cat, though?” Gavin pointed out, frowning. He didn’t think Lindsay would lie about this on purpose, but, well. Sometimes things happened.

A lot of times things happened. This crew really wasn’t good at clear communication.

They rolled their eyes. “As good as. But if you don’t believe me, ask yourself.” They pointed. “See, there’s Jeremy.”

He followed their finger and, indeed, there was Jeremy. Gavin waved at them, “Oi, Jeremy! Come over for a sec, will you?”

“Uh, yeah, I got a moment.” They came over, looking between him and Lindsay. “What’s up, Gav?”

“You have a cat, right?” Lindsay asked, grinning at Jeremy. “Can we see a picture?”

Jeremy blinked, visibly confused. “Yeah…? I mean, sure.” They pulled their phone out of their pocket, swiftly unlocking it and swiping through the gallery.

“Let’s see… Oh, this is a good one.” They turned the phone around, showing the two of them the screen. On it was a photo of a longhaired tabby, lazing on a cat bed. “One of the few times I’ve been him actually using that cat bed.”

“Oh, what a cutie!” Lindsay complimented, adoration heavy in their voice. And Gavin had to agree. It was a very cute cat. He… He really kind of missed having a cat. Unfortunately neither he nor Lindsay had been able to convince Geoff to get a shared crew cat for the apartment. Or any kind of pet, really. Geoff kept countering that having the lot of them was basically the same as having pets.

“He’s great,” he chimed in. “Thanks Jeremy. If you guys ever move in, will you bring him?”

“That’s the plan.” Jeremy pocketed their phone again, looking between the two of them. “Uh. Was that all?”

He offered an awkward grin. “Yeah, sorry. We were just curious.”

“Ah, that’s fine. I wasn’t in a rush anyway.” Jeremy inclined their head. “But I’ll get going then. Have a good day, Gav, Lindsay.”

“You too! Thanks for showing us your cat!” Lindsay waved them goodbye, and they watched as Jeremy left. “See, I told you.”

Michael snorted, still lounging on a chair behind them. “Yeah Gav, they told you. That’s what you get for doubting Lindsay.”

“Like you believed them,” Gavin countered, rolling his eyes. “Come on. It’s not my bloody fault this crew is rife with miscommunication.”

“Well, not this time.” Lindsay pulled a haughty expression, looking down on him. “Next time, you’ll believe me right from the start.”

“Yeah, yeah, alright,” he agreed easily. “Next time, no matter how ridiculous, I won’t doubt you.”

---

“Ugh,” Geoff grumbled, pulling the next sheet of paper towards him. He had hired an entire team of people to deal with the boring bureaucratic part of running a criminal gang, and still he got tons of paperwork to deal with.

Stupid. Why had he ever agreed to this stupid idea. He should’ve just made Jack boss. She never had to deal with this bullshit anymore. He would’ve made a great right-hand man to her!

He looked at the paper. Ah. Crew payroll. At least this was easy. Just check over it to make sure everything made sense, then sign off on it. Easy peasy.

Oh, yeah. This was the first payroll since they hired Trevor and Jeremy, wasn’t it? He’d have to take a good look at it, then, to make sure everything was right. He trusted the B-team to do everything right, but this would be just the right moment to sneak something in.

Yep, both of their new crew members had been added. Good, good. And. Uh.

“Huh,” he muttered, frowning at the sheet of paper. A third new name had joined the list. Right between Jeremy and Trevor was Matt. As in. Their cat, Matt? He’d even been given the same kind of payout as Jeremy and Trevor, as a new full-time crew member.

“That… makes no sense.” He heaved a sigh, then pushed himself up from his desk. He’d probably been working too long. Time to get a reality check from his beloved second.

Barely remembering to grab the crew’s payroll before leaving his office, he wandered over to the living room. There he found Jack and Michael, playing a game on the tv. Instead of looking what they were doing, he just held out the sheet of paper, blocking her view. “Jack.”

“Geoffrey,” she responded, leaning to the side to look around the paper. “I’m kind of in the middle of something.”

“So am I.” He shook the paper, the sound of it lost over the noise of the tv. “Why are we paying a cat?”

“Huh?” She looked away from the tv for a moment, then swore as Michael cackled. “Why are you asking me? B-team takes care of all that stuff.”

Michael snorted over the sound of his mashing buttons on a controller. “That cat must be doing good work, Geoff.”

“Must be,” Jack agreed absent-mindedly, leaning a little further to the side. “Geoff, seriously, move.”

He looked between the two of them, then back to the sheet of paper. “Unbelievable,” he muttered, but stepped away. Apparently he was the only one in this goddamn crew who thought it was weird they were including a cat in their payroll.

Well. Whatever. He still had plenty of boring paperwork to work through. If he spent any time on figuring out this bullshit he’d just lose even more time to it. As long as that goddamn cat wasn’t earning more than the rest of the crew it wasn’t worth the hassle.

He dropped the paper back onto his desk and signed it with a flourish.

---

“—so we’re mostly casual about the stuff here,” Lindsay explained as they showed him the kitchen in the crew’s shared apartment. “Like, don’t touch anything that anybody signed, but otherwise it’s pretty much a free game.”

“Right.” Alfredo nodded. “Even though I don’t live here?”

“Well, it’s not like you’re the only one,” they pointed out, quirking an eyebrow at him. “Trevor and Jeremy have been with us for months and they’re still living in their own apartment. Besides,” they paused to give him a look, “you’ll probably lose your own stuff to the crew as well when you put it in there.”

“Fair enough.” He looked away at the rustling of a jacket to see Trevor coming up to them.

“You’re good taking care of Fredo’s introduction alone, right, Lindsay?” he asked as he pulled on his coat.

They hummed. “Yeah, I’ve got it.” Trevor nodded and turned around.

“Oh, and Trevor,” they interrupted him, waiting a moment for him to turn back around. “Please tell Matt he’s a good boy for me?”

“Yeah, of course,” Trevor agreed easily, nodding again. “I’ll head out then. See you two tomorrow.”

“See you,” Alfredo replied automatically, as he turned that conversational twist in his mind. Tell Matt he was a good boy…? Who the hell was Matt?

Lindsay, clearly picking up on his thoughts, shot him a wide grin. “Matt is Trevor and Jeremy’s cat, and he’s the main reason why they haven’t moved into the apartment yet. There’s a little more logistics involved in moving in two people and their cat, especially if all three are used to sharing a tiny apartment.”

“Right,” he agreed. That made sense. “And you just… ask them to tell their cat he’s a good boy for you?”

“Oh yeah, absolutely.” They shrugged, unrepentant. “That, or I ask them to give him a hug for me. Man, I can’t wait for them to move in. I really want to give that cat a pat myself.”

“You haven’t met him?” he asked skeptically, quirking a brow. “How do you know he’s a good cat?”

“All cats are good cats, duh.” They winked. “And I’ve seen photos, and heard the boys talking about him. Great cat.”

Well, fair enough. He couldn’t argue with that.

---

Jeremy dropped another empty box on the floor of Matt’s office. “There, do you think that’s enough?”

“Should be,” he agreed, spinning around on his chair. “If not we’ll have to grab another box or two. Do we have enough for the rest of the house?”

“Trevor is coming back with a few more boxes, that should do the trick.” They looked over the boxes littered around the office, some half-filled with stuff that could be packed away already. “You got us a storage box to put the house stuff in, right?”

Matt gasped dramatically. “Jeremy, you doubt me? I said I would take care of it and I did.”

“Just making sure,” they assured him, rolling their eyes. “You’re almost done with that hacking thing, right? So we can focus on packing afterwards?”

“Yeah, the last thing is running now. After that it’s just the finishing touches and that should be that.”

“Good, good.” The lock of their front door rattled, and Jeremy tensed for a moment before recognizing the sound of a key in the lock. “Hey Treh.”

“Hey Jer,” Trevor called back from the door, soon followed by the click of the door and then the sound of cardboard hitting the floor. “Thanks for letting me in.”

“No problem man,” they said, grinning at him as he walked in the office. “Everything went well?”

Trevor hummed. “Yeah. They’ll clear out a room for us tomorrow, and one for Fredo as well. Oh, also…”

He leaned over, patting Matt on the head. “That’s from Gavin. He asked me to tell you you’re a “good good boy”.”

“Oh.” Matt grinned wide, a pleased expression on his face. “Thanks. I should tell everyone thanks once we’re there. They’ve been so nice to us.”

“Especially to you,” Trevor said, clicking his tongue. “Maybe I want to be told I’m a good boy for once instead of always acting like the messenger.”

“You are a good boy, Trevor.” Jeremy grinned at him, even as they were connecting the dots in their head. Oh my god. The reason why everyone in the crew was acting so weird was because they thought Matt was a cat. That is why Lindsay and Gavin had asked to see their cat all that time ago.

Oh, this was just too funny! They would have to make sure that no one saw Matt during the move. It had been almost six months since they had joined the crew and no one had figured it out yet. If they kept that up while living in the same apartment…

They hastily shoved down their chuckles. Couldn’t let Trevor and Matt in on the joke. Their reactions would be so good if they found out at the same time as the crew.

“We should make sure Buddy stays in the office,” they pointed out, during the lull in conversation. “At least that first week or so, until he’s settled in.”

“Oh, yeah, good idea,” Trevor agreed, nodding. “Wouldn’t want him to get in anyone’s way.”

“Except mine, apparently,” Matt grumped half-heartedly. “But yeah. That way he won’t accidentally escape the apartment either. And having a familiar person and place will probably help.”

“Exactly.” Alright. Step one: complete. Oh, this was so exciting!

---

Lindsay reclined further in their chair, casually swiping at their phone screen to scroll. Opposite of them Trevor was sitting more neatly, but equally casual, leafing through a book. It had only been a few days since he and Jeremy had moved in, but already they wandered around the house like they had lived there for months.

Well, not entirely surprising, considering that they’d been around for months already, but still. The only sad part was that they hadn’t seen Matt yet. Apparently the cat was staying in their room for now.

They hear a door open and looked up automatically; Michael was supposed to be done soon with his job. But as they did so, they realized that’s not what they heard. The front door had a different sound to it, a click of the lock being undone and re-locked. This was the sound of one of the room doors.

Trevor looked up from his book as well, and together they watch a bedraggled long-haired man wander out of the hallway with bedrooms. The man, seeing them looking, waved as he headed towards the kitchen.

Before they can say anything, Trevor called out to him, “Make sure to grab a snack while you’re out there, Matt!”

“Yeah,” the man—Matt?!?—called back, “I was planning to.”

“Okay, just making sure.” And with that, Trevor just turned back to his book. Zero comment.

Lindsay looked back to the kitchen once more, taking in the man standing there. Long dark hair, big loose clothing, casually grabbing a snack to go with his refilled bottle of water.

Huh. Matt must be some kind of werecat, then. Sometimes a cat, sometimes a human person. But if no one had mentioned it clearly they didn’t want to talk about it, and, well. Lindsay wasn’t rude enough to ignore that.

Buuuut they can bring it up later when Gavin gets back. He would hear her out, no problem.

---

Alfredo grunted, blinking up at his ceiling. Not that he could see it in the dark, but still. Goddamn him.

No. Goddamn Lindsay and Gavin for those stupid damn stories. For days they’ve been telling everyone in the crew—bar Jeremy and Trevor—about Matt the cat not being an actual cat but a fucking werecat. Like, really?

But apparently the thought had wormed its way into his head anyway, because he can’t stop thinking about it now. He had started thinking that they’re pulling some kind of elaborate prank on him, because those two had moved in at the same time as him yet he hadn’t seen their cat in the past few days, but no, apparently not. Because today a long-haired brown cat had run out of their room, only to be grabbed by Jeremy and escorted back in, chastised for leaving. And Alfredo knew he heard Jeremy say the name Matt when they went into their room.

Ugh. Well, if he’s up he might as well grab himself a drink from the kitchen. It was—he looked at his alarm—way past midnight, so no one else should be up. That should save him from an awkward conversation.

He rolled out of bed, yawning widely and he pulled open his door. At least there was enough ambient light in the apartment itself that he didn’t need to turn on any lights. The last thing he needed now was to wake himself up even further with that bullshit.

But, really. A werecat? Their only evidence was that Lindsay had apparently seen Matt as a long-haired man, and that Trevor had greeted him by name. Gavin, despite the vehemence with which he agreed with Lindsay, apparently didn’t even have any proof himself. He just believed them without a doubt.

Unbelievable, Alfredo thought to himself, and then realized there was already someone in the kitchen just before he stepped inside.

He yelped, throwing his hand over his mouth immediately to muffle the sound.

On the other side of the open doorway the burglar(?) jerked, startled by the sound, almost dropping whatever they were holding in their hand. A… bottle? Huh.

“Oh my god,” the man gasped out, quiet as a whisper. “Alfredo, you scared the shit out of me.”

“What—?” he hissed back, automatically matching volume. What kind of intruder would say that? Or know his name?

“Just grabbing a drink,” the man held up the bottle of water. The… The long-haired man. Oh, no. No no no. “Sorry, I need to finish up some hacking stuff for tomorrow. Talk later?”

“Uh, yeah, sure man,” he replied automatically, taking in the stranger’s appearance. Fuck him. Lindsay had been right. There was the undeniable evidence: the man with long dark hair, matching the cat he’d seen exactly.

What the fuck.

He definitely should’ve stayed in fucking bed, fuck him.

---

Jeremy leaned back in their chair, watching the tv with the rest of the crew. The game they had been playing had turned extremely competitive, with plenty of yelling and screaming, and Jeremy had bailed so they could oversee the chaos.

Specifically, so they could see the incoming chaos Matt was about to bring, since the yelling was sure to draw him out.

They had been feeding the flames all week, and still no one had properly connected the dots. They had moved in while the rest of the crew was away on a sudden mission, and Matt had mostly been busy in his new office—their shared room—ever since.

There had been a close call a day or two ago, when Buddy had escaped from their room, but luckily Jeremy had been able to grab him and bring him back before Matt could. If those two had been seen together the game would’ve surely been over.

Honestly, luck had been on their side anyway. Lindsay had apparently seen him but assumed he was a werecat, of all things, and Gavin had just? gone with their assumption. For some reason. And then, a few days later, Alfredo had also seen Matt and, instead of refuting Lindsay’s assumption, and given in and gone along with them.

It was better than Jeremy could’ve planned themself. Absolutely brilliant.

Either way, things were surely coming to an end… because there came Matt. No one else had seen him yet, too focused on playing or watching the ongoing game.

He stood behind the couch, looming over Gavin, Michael, Geoff, and Jack. And then, completely unknowing of what he was about to unleash, very casually asked, “Hey guys, who’s winning?”

They were glad that they had braced themself, because the ensuing screaming was deafening. Even Trevor yelled, probably startled by everyone else. Matt himself jerked back several steps. Hell, Geoff startled so badly he threw himself off of the couch entirely, and Gavin had crawled half on top of Michael.

This was so good. They were so glad they had hung back to watch this happen.

“Hey Matt,” they casually greeted, ignoring the cacophony and barely holding in their laughter.

“See!” Lindsay yelled, suddenly, victoriously, pointing a finger at Matt. “See! I told you guys he was a werecat!”

“A what?” Matt blinked at them, even as Michael shoved Gavin off of his lap and onto Geoff, ignoring the resulting squawking. “Huh?”

Trevor twitched, blinking in confusion. “Yeah, what the hell are you talking about?”

No longer could they hold it in. Jeremy burst out in cackling laughter, and soon enough Matt begun chuckling along, cautiously.

“Get off me, idiot,” Geoff grumbled, pushing Gavin off of himself so he could get up. “Someone help me up.”

“You’re not that old, Geoffrey,” Jack complained, but offered him a hand anyway. “Can someone please explain to me what the fuck is happening?”

“I honestly couldn’t tell you.” Matt shook his head, looking over at Trevor, and then at Jeremy themself, still laughing. “But I think I know who’s responsible for it.”

“Am not!” they immediately denied. “I just found out a week ago, before we moved in. And I haven’t even done anything! The stories fed themselves.”

Geoff found his balance standing up, then stared at Matt for a long moment. “Well,” he finally said, “I guess that this makes more sense than having a cat on the payroll.”

“You thought I was a cat?” Matt asked incredulously. Then, looking at the expressions of everyone around the room, he repeated, louder, “You all thought I was a cat?”

“Well! We all saw the bloody cat, didn’t we!” Gavin gestured wildly, still lying on the floor where Geoff had dumped him. “It just made sense!”

Matt blinked down at him. “The cat? You mean Buddy? You all thought I was Buddy?”

Lindsay gasped. “His name is Buddy? That’s adorable!”

“How did no one here realize?” Trevor blinked at everyone, wide-eyed. “For six months, none of you realized that Matt was a human, or that he was our hacker. Who did you guys think was doing all that work?”

“Uh.” Everyone looked over at Geoff, who shrugged. “I guess I didn’t really think about it. B-team probably hired someone, or something.”

Behind him on the couch, Jack groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Geoff. Really?”

“What? I was right, wasn’t I?” He gestured over at Matt. “Someone got hired to take care of it. All good!”

“I still can’t believe everyone in this crew thought I was a cat.” Matt shook his head. “I mean—Gavin, we’ve been texting for weeks.”

Gavin, in the middle of getting up from the floor, squawked defensively. “Well! I thought it was just Jeremy having a laugh, pretending to text as the cat! We just texted “meow” back and forth!”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Michael waved Gavin down. “So then why haven’t we seen the cat around?”

“Because he’s been in our room?” Matt shrugged, casually. “We didn’t want him to—Wait a second. Jeremy, you were the one to suggest keeping him in the room so no one would realize!”

“But you all agreed with my reasoning!” they countered, grinning widely. “It made sense!”

“Well, I think we should get to see the cat now. As compensation.” Lindsay opened their arms, as if expecting them to just place Buddy in their arms. “Come on.”

“Yeah, one sec.” Matt shook his head even as he turned around to go back to their room. Moments later he returned, Buddy lounging in his arms. “See? Not the same thing.”

Trevor leaned closer from his chair, exaggeratedly looking Matt over. “I don’t know Matt. You do look a lot alike.”

“Oh, fuck you, Trevor.”

---

Matt’s fingers stilled over the keyboard as he activated his new program’s test run. There, now he could just sit back and wait for a moment.

He still couldn’t believe that he worked as the Fakes’ hacker for six months without them knowing he was a human person. Six months! And the only people who had known he wasn’t cat were Jeremy, Trevor, and the B-team, apparently. Fucking unbelievable.

Well. Maybe a little believable, he supposed.

A knock on his door broke him out of his thoughts, and he spun around on his chair. “Come in, it’s open.”

“Heya Matt,” Lindsay greeted him as they came in, hands held strangely behind themself. “You got a minute?”

“Sure?” he answered cautiously, glancing back at his computer for a moment. “What’s up?”

“Here, I got you a little something!” They shoved the thing into his hands the moment he lifted them. Something soft and furry, and—

It was a cat plushy. A very cute, very fluffy plush cat.

He looked at the plush in his hands—so soft!—and then back at Lindsay, who cracked up into giggles.

“Thank you?” he said when they settled down some.

“It’s because we all thought you were a cat all this time.” They gestured at the plushy. “So it’s a little something to make up for it, since I’m the one who started it, I think.”

“Oh, well, it’s fine.” He tucked the plush closer to himself. It really was very nice to hold. “I mean. It’s kinda silly, but it’s hardly the worst thing that could’ve happened.”

“Yeah, well.” They shrugged. “It is pretty funny in hindsight. But I saw that plushy and I thought, hey, why not. Matt would probably like it.”

He smiled back at them. “I do, thank you.” He reached over, settling the plush on his desk next to his monitors. “And Lindsay? Thank you for the compliments and the hugs.”

They laughed, opening their arms. “Yeah, no problem man. You want a direct hug?”

“Well,” he said, drawing out the word as he got up out of his chair. “I’m not saying no to that.”

---

Jeremy leaned against a wall, quickly checking the clip in their pistol. They hoped they wouldn’t need to use it, but better to be prepared than to be caught off-guard.

“Oh, shit,” Matt muttered over the coms. “Uh. I said that wrong. My bad. You should’ve taken the right turn instead of the left.”

“Matt, you motherfucker,” Geoff snarled in the comm, clearly struggling to keep his voice down so they wouldn’t attract the attention of the police. “What the fuck do you mean you sent us the wrong way!”

“I was looking at the wrong thing, sorry!” He sounded genuinely apologetic, but it was clearly too late from the way Geoff was seething. “It’s fine. Just a little further. Follow the alley and then take a right at the end.”

They quickly continued walking, but Gavin was already reaching up to unmute his own mic. “Matt, how did you send us down the wrong way, Matt! It’s just left and right!”

“I was looking at the wrong thing! I said sorry, didn’t I!”

And, well. That was definitely the wrong thing to say. Jeremy threw a quick look over at Geoff, and found him visibly boiling over. They lowered their hand back to their pistol, but hopefully they were far enough away from the police that Geoff’s shouting wouldn’t alert them.

Jeremy tuned out of the screaming earful from Geoff—fed by Gavin and Jack—but kept half an ear on the comm. Just enough that he could hear Matt’s heavy sigh, followed by the quiet mutter of, “I miss being a cat.”

Despite themself they cracked up, laughter cutting off the shouting from the rest of the crew. Oops. Apparently they hadn’t muted their own mic. Everyone fell silent, watching them lose it over a comment none of them heard.

“What did we say that was so bloody funny?” Gavin asked, frowning at them.

“Sorry,” they apologized as they caught their breath again, shaking their head to get their focus back. “Just something Matt said. I’m good. Let’s go.”

They should’ve realized that that would just encourage Matt.

---

BK winced as Geoff’s voice echoed around her, bouncing off of the alley walls just off from his actual voice in her comm. She wished she could turn the comm off, but it wouldn’t do to miss critical instructions. Her admittance into the crew was too new to risk over something like this.

Besides, he wasn’t even yelling at her. And, despite the volume he was reaching, he didn’t even sound that mad. It was more theatrical than anything.

Probably.

She leant around the corner, spotting Trevor opposite of her, hidden behind a stack of boxes. Seeing her in turn, he gave her a thumb’s up and a reassuring smile, and she gladly returned the favor. See? All good.

A weary sigh rattled over the comm, and she winced again, this time in sympathy. It seemed that Matt, for all that he stayed back home as the hacker, caught a lot of Geoff’s ire. Maybe being away from the action made it worse, instead of better.

“Man,” the man in question huffed. “You were so much nicer when I was a cat.”

When—Huh? When he what?

Sudden gunshots interrupted her thoughts. Fuck. Alright, that thought was getting shelved until after the mission. Focus now.

The moment they returned back to the base, however, the topic immediately sprung back into her mind. As she put away her weapons and body armor, the thought kept circling around in her head. What did it mean?

Stepping back out into penthouse proper—the shared Crew home, for all she didn’t yet live there—she set out to get answers. But who could she ask?

Oh! There was Ky! She had been around a little longer than BK herself, so maybe she would know. At the very least, she wasn’t one of the old guard who would surely use this as a pranking opportunity.

“Hey Ky,” BK greeted the moment she was close enough. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure?” Ky turned to face her. “Did something happen during the mission?”

“Kinda.” She made a dubious face. “I heard Matt say something weird. Like… Not normal for this crew weird.”

Ky’s face dropped into a frown, and BK immediately followed it up with, “He said something about the rest of the crew being nicer when he was a cat?”

“He—Huh?” Ky’s expression cleared up immediately—and straight into confusion. “He said that?”

“Right?” BK threw up her hands, feeling exasperation flood through her. “I mean, what does that even mean?”

“When he was a cat…” Ky repeated, under her breath, brow creased. “When he was a cat…”

“Where did you hear that?” a hushed voice interrupted them, and BK jerked away—and saw Ky do the same opposite of her.

Standing next to them was Jeremy, wide-eyed and grim-faced. “Seriously! Be quiet about that, where did you hear that?”

“Matt muttered it over the comms earlier today.” BK felt her heart drop. What was going on in this crew? “Why? What did he mean?”

Jeremy looked around, shiftily, and BK found herself doing the same automatically. But the hallway was clear. Just the three of them.

“Look, Matt doesn’t like to talk about it, okay? Top secret. No one gets to know about it.” They met her eyes first, then Ky’s, deadly serious. “No one.”

“We wouldn’t tell!” Ky immediately exclaimed, then grimaced and lowered her voice. “Jeremy, we wouldn’t, you know that.”

They stared them down for a moment longer, then nodded, slowly. “Alright, fine. But I’m serious—Matt doesn’t want to talk about it. Keep it quiet, okay?”

“Promise,” BK said, and she heard Ky’s voice echoing with her own.

Jeremy nodded once more, then gestured for them to lean in closer. “Okay, so you two know that Trevor, Matt, and I were hired at the same time, yeah? We all lived in the same apartment at the time. And it took a while for us to be moved in because of it, so it took six months until we could move in, at the same time as Alfredo.”

“Right,” Ky said, slowly.

“And it was before we used long-distance comms, so no one but me and Trevor knew about Matt. For six months, none of them saw him, none of them heard his voice, nothing. Just the two of us, whenever we came home from our missions.”

BK couldn’t help but feel sorry for him, even more so than earlier that day. Six months with barely any human contact, and now he got yelled at by Geoff? Harsh.

“And just when we were about to move in, something big interrupted, and everyone had to focus on crew work. So the three of us, we just moved in on our own, without anyone seeing. And then Matt had to get back to work immediately again, having to stay in his new office—our shared room—the entire time.”

Add a little more sorry to that previous count. Yikes.

“So… A few days after we got there, we might’ve had a little unwanted break-out.” Jeremy shrugged their shoulders, a forced smile on their face. “And a cat came running out of his office. Which of course the others saw, and, well. You can imagine what went down.”

“But, wait.” Ky frowned, and BK felt her own mind trip over the vagueness with which Jeremy had told the story. “You mean that long-haired tabby that wanders around the base?”

“That’s the one,” Jeremy confirmed, smiling softly. “So, yeah. It’s a whole thing, and Matt doesn’t like to talk about it, so. Keep it quiet, yeah?”

“Of course,” BK assured them, even if she wasn’t quite sure what to keep quiet, exactly. “Thanks for telling us, Jeremy.”

They nodded. “Yeah, no problem. Better than letting the confusion cause problems. If there’s any pressing concerns, come ask me, okay?”

“We will,” Ky promised, and they watched Jeremy wander off before she leaned closer to BK. “So… Did you get what exactly was up with Matt?”

“No, not really,” she admitted, grimacing. “I guess he… was a cat? For a while? Somehow?”

“What, like a werecat?” Ky shook her head. “How does that even make sense?”

“Well, I don’t know!” BK snapped back, throwing her hands up. “Maybe he was cursed to be cat until the crew fixed him, or something!”

“Shh,” Ky hissed immediately, and they looked around quickly, but no one was nearby. Phew. “Well, then he might as well have been a cat originally, until he got turned into a human.”

BK hummed. “I don’t think that that works in the story. Wait. Or does it?”

“How would I know?” Ky fell silent, face twisting. “Oh my god. I’ve definitely petted him before.”

“You have?”

“Yes! Lindsay was holding him and making kissy faces and then told me I should give him a pat! How was I supposed to know otherwise!”

“Oh my god,” BK groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. “This is too much.”

They stood there in silence for a moment, processing.

“We should tell Joe.” Ky met BK’s gaze when she snapped it over to her. “Okay, I know Jeremy said to keep it quiet, but! He’s going to find out eventually, and I’m not going to be able to keep quiet if I see him petting Matt.”

“Okay, true.” BK clicked her tongue. “Well. It should be okay right, to make sure he doesn’t ask Matt about it?”

“Yeah! Yeah, see, that makes sense,” Ky agreed nodding. “Alright. Let’s just. Go do that. Then.”

“Yes. Let’s, uh. Do that.”

---

Jeremy’s fingers tapped out a silent rhythm on the side of their phone. The moment they had stepped away from Ky and BK they had texted Lindsay to let them in on the shenanigans that had just been unleashed, and now they regularly texted with ideas on how to stoke the flames further.

Luckily Lindsay had agreed to keep it quiet from everyone else. Hopefully Ky and BK would do the same, because Jeremy really wanted to see everyone’s reactions when they found out the whole thing had happened again.

Although, admittedly, they were kind of curious to hear what those two had thought up. They had intentionally left their story very open, but still. The options were pretty limited, weren’t they?

Their phone buzzed in their hand, and they looked down. Ooh, a great new idea from Lindsay. Baking cookies shaped like cat treats to give to Matt? Brilliant!

Rapidly texted Lindsay back, they hadn’t even noticed Joe creeping up on them until he awkwardly cleared his throat.

Quickly dimming their screen, they looked up at him. “Hey Joe, what’s up?”

“You, uh.” He looked around the otherwise-empty room, the very picture of shifty, then continued at a lower tone. “You said we could ask you about Matt’s… thing.”

“His thing,” they repeated drily.

“Yeah, you know, the. Uh.” Joe stuck up a finger on each side of his head, wiggling them slightly. Like cat ears, Jeremy supposed. “You know?”

Pressing a fist to their mouth to stifle their laughter, they nodded slightly. “The cat thing? Yes. Who told you?”

“BK and—Uh. I mean. No one.” Joe cleared his throat again, awkwardly looking away. “I definitely found out on my own.”

“Sure.” They shook their head. Definitely something to keep in mind, the poor acting skills of some of the newer crew members. You never know when those kind of things come in handy! “You had a question about it?”

He nodded, shuffling a little on his feet. “Yeah, so he’s like, a werecat, right? Sometimes a human and sometimes a cat?”

Interesting. Was that the consensus that they had reached, or was that just what Joe had decided was the truth? Either way, they gestured for him to keep talking.

“So what I was wondering, um. Is he always fully human, or fully cat, or…?”

“What, like does he keep cat-like traits when he’s human, or something?” They quirked a brow at him, using the pause to quickly search through their brain. Stoke the flames, stoke the flames… “Hm. Well, you know how it is with weres: never fully one or the other.”

“So he’s like…” Joe gestured vaguely, like he was trying to grab at concepts he couldn’t reach. “A little cat?” he settled on, weakly.

“Oh yeah, for sure” they said, casually reclining on their chair. “Haven’t you noticed how he’s always prowling the base at night? That’s the were-zoomies.”

They watched Joe mouth the word ‘were-zoomies’, stifling the grin that threatened to break out on their face. Yes. Yes. Go on, fall for it.

“Right,” Joe said, slowly, like he was testing the word. “That makes sense. Uh. Sorry for bothering you with this.”

“It’s fine,” they assured him, flapping their hand. “Just make sure to keep it quiet from the rest, yeah? Especially Matt, he doesn’t like talking about it much.”

“Uh huh.” Joe nodded. “And I guess you’d know best anyway, since you’ve known him longest.”

“Exactly,” they agreed easily. “Was that all?”

“Yeah. Uh, yeah.” He shifted on his feet again. “Thanks, Jeremy. Again.”

“No problem,” they repeated, even as Joe turned around to walk away. They waited another moment or two, until they were sure that he was leaving—and that he’d really fallen for it—and then turned on their phone again to resume texting Lindsay.

They would love the new twist that had just been added to the story.

---

Idly watching a program run on the monitor in front of him, Matt hummed. “Hey, Trevor.”

“Hey Matt,” Trevor echoed dutifully, sitting on the bed behind him, Buddy in his lap.

“Do you think the new crew members have been acting weird around me?”

Because he was pretty sure they were acting weird. At first he had just assumed it was nerves over joining the crew, but then he realized it was only around him. Like they became instantly transfixed on him whenever he entered a room any of them were in.

“I don’t know.” Trevor sounded doubtful, and Matt spun around to find him frowning. “I haven’t noticed anything, but I haven’t really been paying attention to it, I guess.”

Matt hummed. “I guess I’m just worried I’m spending too much time in the office again, you know?”

“Honestly, you haven’t been that bad.” Trevor leant further back, and they both watched in silence as Buddy stretched out further in the newly gained space. “Maybe that’s why? You’re just around more to notice it, now that we’re not the new guys.”

“Maybe,” he said, doubtfully. “I don’t know. It just seems kind of weird. The last time people were acting all strange around me was, you know, when we moved in.”

“And we wouldn’t want a repeat from that.” Trevor laughed, then fell silent as he saw the look on Matt’s face. “Matt. You’re not seriously thinking about it.”

“What? It happened once, it could’ve happened again.” He shook his head. “Besides, Jeremy is absolutely the type to feed the new guys a made-up story of me being a werecat. They definitely didn’t get their fill of chaos last time around.”

“It’s not like they would’ve needed to do that.” Trevor clicked his tongue, chastising. “You still regularly grumble about missing your old cat life. It’s not like that couldn’t have caused some strange thoughts.”

Matt spluttered, “Now hold on—”

“Besides,” Trevor cut him off, mercilessly. “You also responded to Lindsay going “pspspsps” over the comms just a few days. By muting everyone else and focusing exclusively on them.”

He stared down Matt, as if daring him to defend himself again. When he didn’t, Trevor sniffed. “See? Perfectly normal reasons why people might think you’re a werecat, again, without Jeremy having done anything.”

“Right,” he agreed. Trevor kind of had a point. He did do all of those things. “But consider this: these are exactly the kind of shenanigans that Jeremy is all about.”

Trevor visibly thought about it. Then nodded. “True, true. Guess we’ll see how it all turns out, then.”

---

Paper rustled loudly as Gavin dug through the pile of wrapped presents still left in the middle of their circle. From the sidelines most of the crew was shouting at him to hurry up, either because they wanted to receive their own presents, or because they wanted to see the reactions to what they had given.

Jack just shuffled in deeper into the couch she had claimed. Some of the newer crew members might’ve been feeling uncertain about their picks—it was their first Secret Santa since Jeremy, Trevor, and Matt had joined, after all—but she knew she had made an excellent choice.

Gavin exclaimed victoriously over having found the present he’d been looking for, holding it up proudly. And then groaned when he read the label: addressed to Matt.

Smiling satisfied, she watched him accept the present. Good.

“What is it, Matt?” Joe called loudly the moment Matt begun opening the present, clearly stoked on by Alfredo sitting next to him.

“Give me a moment!” Matt called back, carefully taking apart the paper. And clearly going slow on purpose, based on the way he was grinning at the exasperated—and dramatic—groans around him.

And then he gasped, having seen the contents of his present.

Michael, sitting next to him, leaned to take a look. And then made a face. “What the hell is that?”

“It’s great is what it is!” Matt lifted up his gift to show it to the rest. And Jack knew she’d made the right choice the moment she saw it, but seeing Matt’s wide grin now filled her with pride nonetheless.

In Matt’s hands, he held a knitted sweater. An unbelievably obnoxious, very ugly, and very grandma-style knitted sweater. With a cat theme.

“I love it!” he exclaimed, even as Jeremy, on his other side, made a loud gagging noise. “Wait—”

And then he pulled it on over the hoodie he’d been wearing, wiggling slightly to get it to sit right. And just as she had guessed, it was just slightly oversized for him.

“Oh, it’s so nice.” Matt rubbed one arm of the sweater, plucking at it slightly. “It’s so warm and soft! I love it. Thank you, Secret Santa!”

“It’s atrocious,” Jeremy spat out like they couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Matt, look at it!”

“I am looking at it.” Matt grinned at Jeremy like a cat who’d gotten the cream. “Here, just feel it, Jeremy. Gimme a pat.”

Jeremy rolled their eyes but obliged, patting Matt’s arm briefly. Then they sighed. “Yeah, alright, I’ll give you that. It’s very soft.”

“Told you.” Matt shook his arms slightly, letting the too-long sleeves fall over his hands. “Oh, right, my turn to pick a present. Hm, let’s see…”

---

Matt absentmindedly twirled the glass in his hand, watching the liquid in it swish around. Ever since he and Trevor had realized that BK, Ky, and Joe thought he was a—a werecat or something, he had become aware of just how much they stared at him. It was like, equal parts fascinated and terrified. So probably werecat then? Were they thinking about him just suddenly turning into a cat in front of them, or something?

He didn’t know, and quite frankly, he had no idea how to ask.

Up went the glass as he took a drink from it. Nope, still no idea.

And the three of them were still staring, on the other side of the table.

Really, when Trevor had suggested that Matt just go out with them for a night to find a way to bring it up, he’d thought that Trevor would’ve come along. But nooo, that would’ve been too easy, huh? Had to go and do this all alone.

How the fuck were you supposed to start a conversation about this, anyway?

“So,” BK blurted out suddenly, leaning forward on her elbows, “When you turn into a cat, does that hurt? Like, is that why you never do it?”

“When I what?” he answered automatically, somehow feeling caught off-guard despite wanting to get into this exact conversation.

Also, apparently that is how you start a conversation about this kind of stuff. He’d consider it good to know, but he was really kind of hoping not to get into this situation a third time.

Groaning, he pinched his nose. “I’m not a werecat, or whatever Jeremy told you three.”

“But the—the were-zoomies.” Joe gestured around the last word as if to emphasize it.

“The what?” He shook his head, setting the thought aside. “Look. I don’t know what Jeremy convinced you three of, but I can guarantee you it’s not real. Although I guess that that does explain why Buddy has been begging for more attention from the rest of us…”

“Buddy?” Ky repeated cautiously.

“Yeah. Buddy the cat.” He pulled up a photo on his phone, even though he was sure they all knew exactly who he was talking about. “See? That’s our cat. Mine, Jeremy’s, and Trevor’s, before we moved in with the rest of the crew. I’m sure you’ve seen him around.”

“But—But—” BK spluttered, and then fell silent when he swiped over to a photo of him holding Buddy. “Oh.”

“Yeah, exactly.” He rolled his eyes, tucking his phone away again. “Honestly, it’s kind of unbelievable this happened again. Although I guess it doesn’t really count if Jeremy orchestrated this on purpose…”

“But I heard you complain about missing being a cat!” BK gestured at him. “What does that even mean!”

He nodded slowly. “I assume Jeremy told you about how, when I first joined the crew, no one saw or heard me? They only knew me by name? So, somehow, they wrongly start to think—"

---

“JEREMY!”

They looked up from the game they had been playing. Was that BK? Hadn’t she gone out with Ky, Joe, and Matt?

The door slammed open, and they spun around on their chair. Standing in the opening were all three of the new crew members. The crew members they had tricked into thinking Matt was a werecat.

“So uh.” They looked between the three fuming crew members. “You figured it out, huh?”

“I’m going to kill you!” BK snarled, making grabbing hands at them from where she still stood. “You asshole! Months!”

“Oh yeah, you really fell for it.” They giggled, ignoring the way the three of them crept further into the room. “But hey, now you get to join the club with the rest of crew! You’re fitting in just right!”

“You’ll fit in just right in the hole you’re about to make in the ground,” Ky growled, stepping up to them. “Because we’re about to drop you off of the roof.”

They looked over to Joe. Who shook his head. “Oh no, I’m with them.”

“Shame.” They shrugged, putting down their controller. “Ah well. Worth it.”

Buddy meowed from the corner of the desk where he’d been sitting.

So worth it.

[roscgcld]

HEADCANONS + GOJO SATORU || onii-chan

note: this was a few ideas given to me by my beloved 🌸Anon - a bunch of new gojotwins!au headcanons c: this one is a little different compared to my other story, so this is a stand alone one. might turn it into a series if it gets enough love, but we’ll see~ you can read the original ask here!

pronouns: she/her

note: mentions of blood and death and spoilers for volume 8 & 9 of the manga. SUPER LONG by the way lol

gojotwins!au masterlist

twins have always been viewed as a bad omen for the parents - there are high chances of both twins developing no Cursed Technique at all, or have a Cursed Technique that is not desirable. So there had been no hope when one of the wives from the main family of the gojo clan was pregnant, and from what they can tell with twins at that

so it was a huge surprise to not only the elders but the entire jujutsu world when not one, but both of the twins were born with the coveted Six Eyes - something that had never happened in the history of the gojo clan. it was a moment to be celebrated!

if only they knew just what was lies ahead

much to the delight of the elders, the older one of the twins was the boy, satoru, while the girl was born 20 minutes after - it wouldn’t have mattered if it was the other way around, but just having the young boy being the one born first was definitely the icing on the cake

both of you were an absolute headache to deal with, causing so much chaos and mayhem that the elders had wondered if they should have celebrated at the idea of having two Six Eyes users under the same house was a good thing

the both of you trained together throughout your younger years, with satoru becoming super overprotective even though you were twins - he understood from a young age that the both of you were starting at different levels of footing because of your gender

yes, you are a girl - but at 7 years old you had exorcise a Grade-Two Curse by yourself with no more than an annoyed click of your tongue and a snap of your fingers, walking away whilst whining about how it got your favourite dress dirty

with that being said though, he loves to tease you are still the younger one between the both of you, and had teased you about how you should refer to him as ‘onii-chan’ instead of his first name

“come on, Y/N~ it’s a sign of respect~”

“i am going to spend you to outer space one of these days.”

the two of you were already known about the jujutsu world way before you even became old enough to enroll in Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College - you two were even allowed to enter without an interview with the then principal of the school

who would want to waste their time interviewing two highly over qualified teenagers anyway?

the first time you met geto and shoko, they were both intimidated by your sheer presence. the both of them have heard talks about the gojo twins entering their year as a pair

so when they had first met you, standing there in your uniform with your bright blue eyes hiding behind a pair of blacked out sunglasses and an indifferent look on your face - they definitely felt a shiver go through their bodies

however, when they saw your twin brother appearing behind you with the biggest grin, hugging you from behind whilst you scowled and tried to push his head away - they were definitely less intimidated now

“now, now, Y/N-chan, stop being so scary~”

“nii-chan, i am giving you three seconds to let go of me.”

the two of you quite the duo, especially when you two are always pinned against one another with more difficult and more challenging missions compared to when you were under the care of the gojo clan 

geto felt less pressure to match up to his friend, since satoru and Y/N are always at each other’s throat - wanting to outmatch the other and one up the other with silly things like Curse head counts and how difficult its level is

with that being said, satoru is very protective of you - if any so much as speaks poorly of you, he would not hesitate to put them in their place

“oya? what makes you think you can speak of my baby sister like that?” satoru had hummed towards the small group of men, who were commenting on how beautiful the young woman was followed by a lot of unsavoury comments. 

satoru still sported his casual smile, yet there was a certain air around him that made them shut their mouths up real fast. “mind repeating that? just want to make sure that i have a good enough reason to put your lazy asses six feet underground..”

after that specific incident by the way, satoru had you and your friends out on a little excursion around tokyo - where they just did a bunch of stupid things together to calm down

you can read him like the back of a book though, so when both of your friends went away to browse through some shelves in a video game store, you just wrapped your arms around your brother with a smile. “you know, nii-chan, you don’t need to go about protect my honour. i’m a big girl now.”

he’d just blink down at you before giving you a soft but genuine smile, petting the top of your head with one of his hand while the other was resting inside of his pocket. “if i don’t protect you, who am i going to protect?”

that statement was proven during your second year - a cursed user had overpowered you and shoko and had taken the both of you hostage. the curse user had practically beaten you into a pulp, knowing that you were the stronger one between the two

shoko had been tied up and beaten as well, but you were definitely taking the brunt of his anger - along with being forced to listen about how he was going to sell you to some low life family that had been trying to get you to marry their sorry excuse of a son. 

you don’t even remember meeting the father of the boy, who had claimed to visit the gojo clan home a few times now

“you gonna be a good girl for me?” the man had gripped as he gripped your hair in his hands, giving you a smirk whilst you scowled over at him in annoyance, blinking the blood out of your eyes from the wound on the top of your head. 

before you can give another snarky answer in reply that will get you another beating, the sound of someone kicking the door in. before either one of you can move, the man suddenly let go of your hair with a pained gasp as someone grabbed his hair and forced his head back, looking up into a pair of glowing blue eyes

“get your filthy hands off my baby sister.”

geto was in charge of taking care of the both of you, leaving the room with a simple reminder to satoru that they needed to bring the man back alive

both of you spending most of your time trying to unlock the many secrets of the Limitless, and how to control it better

during the entire star plasma vessel fiasco, you had stayed by geto’s side. and while you didn’t manage to save rika from being murdered, you had, like gojo, managed to touch the core of cursed energy

toji had ‘killed you’ before he went after geto, yet like satoru, he did not decapitate your head; so you had slowly started to use the reverse curse technique to heal your wounds

so you couldn’t believe satoru’s belief when he found you using reverse cursed technique to heal geto, wrapping you up in his arms while you just smile and hold him as well

the three of you plus shoko had turned to one another for comfort, because along the way you four have grown close to the young girl, and her death really affected all of you

but if there is something bright that came out from this, is that you and your brother had really elevated yourselves to become the strongest duo of the new generation - both pretty much an entire chest above the current active sorcerers

after satoru had calmed down, he had told you about what toji had said to him before his death - about how he has a son that he had planned to sell of to the zen’ins

the two of you went to visit the young boy, discovering that he had an older sister as well; and without hesitation you had taken the both of them under your wing, pulling a few strings behind the scenes while also trying to provide him with as normal as a life as you two could

megumi had viewed you as a mother figure, someone who looked out for him and tsumiki, teaching the two of them life skills like sewing and cooking, making sure they always have warm meals. 

you never miss their birthdays either - always making sure to get them either a cake or a small cupcake with a candle on the top to blow out just for the sake of tradition

sure, satoru loves to spoil them too, but he acted more like their chilled older brother - he definitely relies on you more as a parental figure he had lacked for quite a huge part of his childhood

he had remembered how once, when you had made him his favourite curry and rice after a long week, he just sighed and said, “thanks mum,” before he started to eat his meal 

at first you froze in shock, and  megumi did too - but before the blushing teen can apologise, you had already wrapped him up in your arms as you just cried your heart out

satoru had teasingly asked him if megumi can call him ‘dad’, to which megumi just scowled and sent his divine dogs after your brother

satoru loves to introduce you two as the ‘strongest duo’ by the way - which makes you super awkward and you hate it with a passion. he wasn’t wrong, but it’s still awkward

“we’re the Gojos - the strongest duo out there.”

“please stop calling us that.”

feel like because you’re there, geto might still be on the path to the light lmao - like mans will be a teacher in school and you three will be dub the ‘idiot trinity’ or some bullshit nickname lol - the three biggest troublemakers in the jujutsu world

yet the three most capable ones as well - absolutely drive the higher ups of the jujutsu world insane

with that being said though - the three of you definitely hashed a plan to change the jujutsu world together. even shoko agrees that there should be some change to the old ways of the jujutsu world; so the four of you decided to sign up to work as teachers at Jujutsu High 

the first group of students you took under your wing was the then first years - maki, toge, panda, and eventually yuta when he joined your little class

you are the mother for the students while geto is the responsible dad; satoru is the crazy uncle that is not allowed to supervise the students alone, and shoko is the cool aunt who lets you skip class in her office if you want

all the students have, at one point, just referred to you as ‘mum’ and you had always just accepted that with a soft smile and a pat on the top of their head

even if they are taller than you, they will willingly bend down to your height so you can pet them on the head - even megumi lets you get away with it

when itadori and nobara came into the picture, you had taken them un as your own as well - but you did spend a good 5 minutes laughing with geto at the idea that yuji manages to control sukuna like he is just an annoying imaginary friend in the back of his head that refuses to shut up

you had tried to give them some form of normality and comforts as teenagers, even if many times they were forced into very uncomfortable situations

all in all - it was utter chaos the moment both you and satoru were born. yet it was a miracle nonetheless. many times you prove to the world that your bond is stronger than people think it is, and that you two will go through anything to make sure the other is safe. 

you are the younger one, but the more responsible one too. the motherly figure that everyone turned to, even your friends and brother, who needs comfort and a warm meal. yet if provoked, you can become deadly and kill with no hesitation. it’s because of this, both you and your brother are considered as quite the deadly duo; the strongest ones around. 

© roscgcld — all rights reserved to me, rose, the author and creator of these works. do not repost/translate/claim my work as yours on any platform

[myreygn]

random hcs for parker’s ocs

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @knizmokat, i hope you have the most amazing day, ilysm!!

i really hope you like these because trust me when i say random i mean random, but i tried my best for you! <3

(also it’s almost 3am here so if my brain isn’t fully fried it’s your birthday already, I AM POSTING THIS NOW)

.....

SASHA

unable to draw anything aside from stick figures and even those are ugly af

his art teacher insisted that everyone can draw until she saw sasha’s work

when the rest of the class gets a new assignment, she allows him to write an analysis over a painting of his choice instead and sasha is more than fine with that

almost always has his hair in a pony tail but unable to do a bun

asahi tried to teach him for 30 minutes and almost cried because it just kept felling apart for no apparent reason

picks the most terrifying stuff you could think of for movie night

managed to scare suga with one of his horror movie picks and has been banned from choosing anything other than u-rated movies ever since

physically unable to sleep without his kirby plushie

a gymnastically talented little mf, can do cartwheels and splits and walk on his hands like it’s nbd

once made a front flip over his hands during practice, scoring a point for his team by hitting the ball over the net with his feet

the absolute proudest moment of his life and he’s still mad that no one has it on video

RYUZAKI

unfazed by tragic movies but fucking bawled his eyes out over encanto (you know why parker)

has all of his fineliners sorted by color and will never ever let noya borrow them in class after doing it once and almost getting a stroke from the sheer chaos that ensued

a little control freak in general

all of his stuff has a designated place and if it’s not where it’s supposed to be he’ll die

open to all kinds of music but an absolute elitist when it comes to “the big ones”

do not talk to him about the history of rock and metal unless you’ve memorized every dio song in existence

also has zero tolerance for any so called disrespect towards his greatest musical inspirations

blocked tanaka for saying “poison? the rita ora song?” and only unblocked him after daichi scolded him for being an idiot

cannot handle horror at all

can and will sucker punch noya for giving him a scare in a devil mask out of reflex

halloween is the bane of his existence

KOGANEI

an absolute athletic multi talent

there’s no sport in existence this man can’t do

show him how to swing a baseball bat and he says “oh like this?” and scores a homerun

he’s also a theatre kid but only the dancey stuff so newsies is right up his alley

can do the entire choreography for king of new york and also hit the high note in santa fe

sails through all his classes as we’ve already established and once sang the build up from before the breakdown from we are the tigers under his breath, making akaashi cry

“‘cause you’re the score you got on sats...” - “YOU GOT A FUCKING 110 I’M BEGGING YOU TO SHUT THE HELL UP”

can do a perfect impression of kermit the frog and it’s a hit at parties

an adrenaline junkie at amusement parks (same tho he has good taste)

it cannot be high, fast or dangerous enough

“there’s no such thing as too many loopings!”

laughs at dad jokes

KUROSAKI

quotes old movies like it’s nobody’s business

once muttered “see how love flies out the door” at the sight of yamamoto and lev fighting for the last piece of roast beef and got absolutely ecstatic when kuroo turned around and went “did you just make a cabaret reference”

literally don’t ask him if he’s seen any movie made after the 90s. he hasn’t.

knows a shit ton of stuff about astrology

knew everyone’s sun and moon sign by their personalities alone

“wow so you believe in that?!” “nah”

can nap everywhere and it’s a gift until one day he falls asleep during a practice match and gets one of bokuto’s spikes in the face

he’s in the hospital for two days but he claims it was worth it

also a theatre kid but only for the classics

thinks west side story is an unmatched masterpiece and will not listen to anyone who has a different opinion

lactose intolerant but cheese is too good

KEITA

really into scrapbooking

has tons of scrapbooks for all kinds of stuff he likes

made one for each third year about their time on the team together and gives it to them at the end of the year (they all cry)

has the most beautiful handwriting known to man

he once gave goshiki his notes for studying and goshiki thought he had used some super fancy font on microsoft word

will not leave the house without nail polish on and always has a spare bottle with him

would rather die than admit it but he loves ghibli movies

the tale of the princess kaguya is his favorite (BECAUSE HE HAS TASTE) and he has very strong opinions about ponyo

like. way too strong opinions, considering that it’s ponyo.

it makes him cry

refuses to participate in tendou’s whistling contests and claims it’s stupid but actually just can’t whistle and is too ashamed to admit it

snorts when he laughs too hard which absolutely infuriates him

DAISUKE

this man can fucking BAKE

brings a bunch of cupcakes to practice to surprise iwaizumi on his birthday and everyone is floored

they look like pinterest photos fr

creates his own recipes and sometimes posts them online, they all have at least 4.8 stars

people always assume he’s all bark no bite but he’ll try to fuck you up if you’re mean to his friends (only he’s allowed to be!!)

got into a fight over some jackasses making fun of watari and lost because it was five against one so kyoutani saved him and soaked all of them

no regrets

participates in a poetry slam when he loses a bet against matsuhana and reads one of his raps as if it was a simple poem

comes in first place, rubs their noses into it for weeks

oikawa tried to get him into musicals but he only likes hamilton because of the rap in it and oikawa is not amused

scribbles little comics all over his notes and it kills his teachers (which is part of the reason why he does it)

[seb-writess]

Be My Player

Pairings: Noctis/Prompto

Rating: General

Notes: I like the idea of the boys being famous for different reasons and dealing with that fame or the chaos that follows with each other

Status: Complete (3,600 words)

Summary: Prompto is a gaming streamer, not very famous but not very unknown, invited to an afterparty where all his most admired streamers will be. He wants to meet them all. He wants to verse Aranea in his mobile game, talk shop with Cindy, ask for Cor's autograph. He wants to meet Gladiolus. He wants to meet Ignis. He wants, more than anything, to meet Noctis.

Preview:

Prompto is almost at the door, when he finally catches sight of a familiar tousle of dark hair and steely blue eyes hidden beneath bangs. Prompto’s heart leaps in his throat. It’s Noctis! He is here! Except…oh, he looks busy.

He seems caught in a conversation with two others, possibly other fans. Prompto would hate to interrupt.

But he’d been looking forward to the chance to meet Noctis all weekend. But he’s really tired. But he’ll never get this opportunity again. But Noctis is probably just as tired and wants to go to bed as soon he’s done with his current conversation.

Prompto bites his lip.

Then Noctis’ eyes flick up, and land on him. Great, now he’s noticed Prompto starring!

Prompto gives an awkward wave, to say hi and silently send the message that it’d be great to meet him any other time, but he won’t be rude and bother him. Except Noctis’ eyes widen in sheer surprise, before shoving himself between the two girls he’d already been talking to and speed walking across the venue toward Prompto.

Prompto pauses, hand still in the air, confused as fuck. Did he do something wrong? Is he in the way? He’s not mulling around a fire exit again, is he?

“You!” Noctis calls.

Prompto blinks.

“Me?”

“I’ve been looking for you all day! Stay there!”

READ UNDER THE CUT

Prompto has been streaming video games for a few years now.

He loves every moment of it. He loves the hype in his chat when he gets a new high score or beats a hard boss. He loves when he plays gacha games and spends all his donations trying to pull rare characters. He loves the community it’s afforded him.

He has a few friends who regularly play with him on stream, even if they don’t have their own channels. It makes it more fun to share the fun with others, and he knows his crowd usually agrees.

It’s even better being able to pick his own schedule. He tries to keep it semi-regular for his viewers, but sometimes he feels like goofing off in a farming game as opposed to a tense and enticing action RPG. He likes being able to call in sick with a tweet rather than trying to placate his stubborn boss at the restaurant.

He has a decent following and earns good money from it, but he’s no way big in name, not even verified yet and he still works a part time job to supplement what streaming doesn’t. None of that stops him from buying tickets for the streamer con as soon as they go on sale. It’s already announced some big names of youtubers and streamers he’d love to meet if only to shake their hand and get an autograph.

Colour him shocked when he’s then extended an invitation to the afterparty.

The only way he’s even at this event is because a friend of a friend of a friend pulled out, and that friend of a friend of a friend suggested Prompto. It was last minute and more of an invitation thrown at his feet than actually extended to his persons, but he’ll count his lucky chocobros and be grateful doing it. He’s still keen for the chance to meet some of his own favourite streamers up close and personal and possibly ask them for some tips.

Possibly make some new friends.

He’s met some amazing people so far.

Aranea Highwind (who mostly plays fighting games) was kind enough to sign his bicep. Cindy Aurum (a youtuber who made use of her engineering degree to make funny inventions and then blow them up on camera) gave him a friendly wave and talked with him about the new updates for Justice Monsters, which just about made his night. He even ran into Cor Leonis in the elevator, who dabbles in strategy games that mostly confuse Prompto, but he’s so nice and passionate it’s hard not to get wrapped up in whatever it is he’s talking about.

It’s nearing the end of the night. The crowd is beginning to thin. Prompto still hasn’t met any of them.

Them being some of the biggest names in youtube and streaming history.

Gladiolus Amicitia, a fitness and lifestyle youtuber who Prompto’s been following ever since he embarked on his own weightloss journey, and owes a lot to Gladio’s soft encouragement and education (and sometimes just outright anger) of dieting culture itself.

Ignis Scientia who started sharing recipes and methods for easy cooking a while ago, but sky-rocketed in popularity ever since his face reveal. He now streams himself cooking live when he’s experimenting with a new recipe, and usually for charity events. Prompto will never admit he absolutely stayed up all night to watch Ignis perfect his creme brulee for twelve hours straight.

Then there’s Noctis Lucis Caelum. Probably Prompto’s favourite streamer since streaming imemorial. He plays all the games Prompto does, which is how Prompto found him, and inspired Prompto to give streaming a try. He’s had the time of his life ever since. More than that, Noctis is just so unintentionally funny. He’s got this dry sense of humour that, on anyone older, would appear cringy and like he’s trying too hard. On Noctis, it’s effortless and so genuine and Prompto has spent half of the time he’s watched Noctis’ streams in stitches at his jokes and sharp quips.

Noctis is also just incredibly good at the games he plays.

Prompto wonders if they even came; maybe too tired from their meet ‘n’ greets at the convention itself to pay the afterparty anymind. That’s okay. Prompto will leave them a message in their comments saying he’s sorry he missed them. Which they’ll never see because of the floods of comments they already get, but it’s nice to think they might give it a cursory glance and know there’s another fan out there.

As it were, Prompto is beginning to tire. He feels himself falling asleep on his feet. But it would be rude to fall asleep while someone’s talking, so he only smiles and nods as…who is this man again? Right! Ravus! Prompto follows him, he’s pretty big in most circles, but he takes it all a bit too seriously for Prompto’s liking. Still, it’s not nice to seem bored when someone is talking to you.

Even though that’s exactly what Prompto is. Bored.

“I mean look what they did with the 2.6 update? And they expect us to think the 2.7 is justified?!”

“Right. Yeah. 2.7.”

Prompto’s lost track of what update for what game he’s even talking about, but he thanks whatever Astrals are around when someone calls Ravus’ name and his attention is pulled away.

“Ugh. This happens all the time!” He says, giving Prompto a sneer aimed at the fan hurrying up to meet him. “Can’t I just have one conversation without being recognised?”

The sneer disappears as he turns to smile for a photo and shake hands with the girl.

Prompto blinks. Cringes internally.

Titan crush him if he ever becomes that two-faced.

But it does present itself as the perfect opportunity to excuse himself.

He heads toward the exit, stifling a yawn as he makes his way through the dispersing crowd. He doesn’t have anyone to say goodbye to, so kind of feels awkward leaving, but he guesses if no one will miss him, it’s okay to slip out. He tries not to feel too disappointed he never got to even see, let alone meet, his big three.

That’s conventions, he supposes.

He’s almost at the door, when he finally catches sight of a familiar tousle of dark hair and steely blue eyes hidden beneath bangs. Prompto’s heart leaps in his throat. It’s Noctis! He is here! Except…oh, he looks busy.

He seems caught in a conversation with two others, possibly other fans. Prompto would hate to interrupt.

But he’d been looking forward to the chance to meet Noctis all weekend. But he’s really tired. But he’ll never get this opportunity again. But Noctis is probably just as tired and wants to go to bed as soon he’s done with his current conversation.

Prompto bites his lip.

Then Noctis’ eyes flick up, and land on him. Great, now he’s noticed Prompto starring!

Prompto gives an awkward wave, to say hi and silently send the message that it’d be great to meet him any other time, but he won’t be rude and bother him. Except Noctis’ eyes widen in sheer surprise, before shoving himself between the two girls he’d already been talking to and speed walking across the venue toward Prompto.

Prompto pauses, hand still in the air, confused as fuck. Did he do something wrong? Is he in the way? He’s not mulling around a fire exit again, is he?

“You!” Noctis calls.

Prompto blinks.

“Me?”

“I’ve been looking for you all day! Stay there!”

Prompto does freeze, only because he’s shocked at the words having left Noctis’ mouth.

Noctis…has been looking for him? Prompto heard him wrong, surely. There’s no way. Either that or Ravus really did bore him to sleep and he’s dreaming.

Noctis finally makes it to his side of the room.

“You’re Prompto Argentum!”

Prompto doesn’t know what to say to that.

Well, he does. Yes, hello, he is Prompto Argentum. He doesn’t know what to say to Noctis who is saying that.

“Y-yes?” Prompto offers. Like a loser.

“I’m Noctis! I stream games too! Mostly RPGs.”

Prompto only stares at Noctis some more.

“I know who you are,” he says, lamely. He’s still in shock.

“R-right. Um.” Noctis faulters. “I just wanted to meet you.”

Prompto will die happy now.

Noctis wanted to meet him? This nobody streamer with not even a fraction of the following Noctis has? The guy who once actually fell asleep on stream and, embarrassingly, is his most watched stream to date?

“Are you sure?” Prompto says, because truthfully, he has no filter.

His brain is catching up now, he’s finally realising he could be making a much better impression than staring at Noctis like he’s a talking toad.

“Well…yes?” Noctis raises an eyebrow, looking slightly hurt. “You play Kings’ Knight, I’ve been wanting to ask how you build your shield character.”

Noctis is asking him for King’s Knight advice? He really is dreaming!

“But I’ll just…talk to you in chat. You’re busy. Sorry.”

Noctis wears an expression like he might cry and Prompto put it there. That’s totally great, Prompto, you’re a fucking genious!

“No!” Prompto finally puts emotion into his voice and doesn’t slap himself across the face only because he doesn’t want to look even more awkward in front of his favourite streamer. “I’m sorry. You totally caught me off guard! I’ve been wanting to meet you all day but you’re fan meets are chaos and I couldn’t get in on time and then I couldn’t find you here so I assumed you didn’t come and then you were here but you were already talking to someone so I wanted to leave you alone but then you saw me and came up to me which is weird because I’m a nobody and-”

Oh, shit. He’s doing that thing again where he talks without breathing and now has run out of air like a nimrod. Way to play it cool. He takes a few deep breaths, his cheeks turning bright red at his actions. Noctis’ lips quirk up in a smile.

“You’re not a nobody.” Prompto can’t even object because he’s still out of breath.

Instead, Prompto asks an ever so graceful-

“You watch my streams?”

Prompto has never seen him in chat, and his chat is never exactly bussing with a crowd.

“Yeah! All the time! Wait…you watch me?”

Prompto could laugh at the absurdity. Noctis is surprised Prompto watches him. The third highest growing gaming streamer on the whole website? But Noctis has always been humble, even when receiving awards or big donations, he always seems genuinely shocked at his accolades. Prompto had no idea how deep that genuity ran until now.

“Of course I do!” Prompto is sure to watch his breathing now. “That last double dungeon was insane! You took on a level ninety tonberry knight with like five health left!”

Noctis grins, running a hand through his hair and messing it up further, which only serves to make him look even cuter.

Prompto is now realising, as he’s given himself the time to look at Noctis properly, that he’s not just as humble in real life as he appears on stream, but twice as handsome.

Like, insanely good looking. Noctis could be a model and still be a dumb kind of famous.

There’s a commotion on the dance floor as the DJ turns up the noise. The bass reverberates through the floor and shakes the building. It’s intense.

Noctis leans in. Prompto turns bright red.

He’s going to kiss Prompto? Now? Just like that? Okay, that’s cool, Prompto can handle this.

Except Noctis’ lips brush Prompto’s ear as he attempts to talk over the noise.

“Do you wanna go somewhere quieter?”

Oh. Right. He was just trying to get Prompto to hear him. Duh.

Prompto doesn’t trust himself to speak, so just nods.

The hotel that hosts the convention has a rooftop bar that's far calmer in both volume and atmosphere. Prompto and Noctis order drinks and find seats overlooking the city. The night air feels good on Prompto’s skin, but does nothing to calm the blush that has taken over his face. He doesn’t have the indoor stuffy air to blame it on anymore either. Noctis doesn’t seem to mind, just chats animatedly with Prompto about the various games they play.

Prompto writes down his method for building characters on a napkin, to which Noctis studies like his life depends on it. Prompto asks for tips on streaming for a bigger audience, and Noctis tries to mumble his way through some vague advice. Once he gets talking though, he’s far more vibrant, and his passion for the career comes out in spades. Prompto sees how much work and thought Noctis puts into his streams, as effortless as he makes it look. It all comes from a place of caring and the need to give others a good time. It makes Prompto smile.

He’s really cute.

Noctis’ phone suddenly rings in his pocket. He pulls it out, looks at the name, and sneers before answering it.

“What?”

Prompto wants to laugh at the sudden turn in personality he’s seeing.

“I’m upstairs, at the bar.”

There’s muffled talking on the other end.

“I’m not alone!”

More muffled talking.

“I have more than two friends! I have at least two and a half!” He gives Prompto a cheeky smile as he says it. Prompto hides his laugh behind his hand.

“If you’re gonna be a dick about it, I won’t tell you where I am.”

Noctis seems to have forgotten he already has. Which Noctis now remembers as he makes a face while the other person keeps talking.

“Then why are you still asking me? Just come up!”

“My fucking gods, you’re fucking rude!”

The booming voice startles them. Prompto whirls around to see Gladiolus Amicitia himself, clapping a large hand on Noctis’ shoulder, hanging up his phone as he does.

This is who was on the other end of the conversation?

Prompto knows Noctis is close to Gladiolus. He’s also close to Ignis. They’ve all collabed a couple of times, in pairs and as a trio, and it’s the best everytime. They definitely have an air of comradery and a friendship that runs deep, even off camera, which is what makes it so entertaining to watch on camera.

“Yo.” Is all Noctis says as his form of greeting.

“Ignis was worried you’d scurried off to sleep.”

“Was thinking about it.”

“What caught you then?”

Gladiolus finally seems to notice Prompto. Prompto clears his throat, preys he doesn’t fuck up this introduction like he did with Noctis, and opens his mouth to introduce himself.

“Hey, you found the little blonde guy! Ask him about your shield yet?”

And then Prompto’s thoughts leave his head.

Gladiolus recognises him too? No way. No fucking way. Does that mean-

“We all know Noctis never would have asked,” a familiar and rich voice speaks behind them. “He would have demanded. All the same, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Prompto.”

Ignis? Ignis recognises him too? This day could not get weirder.

Prompto’s voice catches in his throat. A weird noise comes out instead. Ignis’ eyebrows furrow, a concerned look gracing his sharp features.

“Oh, he does this. Oi! Snap out of it!” Noctis actually reaches over and lightly paps Prompto on the cheek.

“Could you not?” Ignis berates. “Simply ask if he needs a moment!”

“I’m good,” Prompto finally manages to wheeze out. He’s remembered to breathe again. Nice. “Just not used to being recognised.”

At the very least he’s not used to being recognised by who is essentially streaming royalty!

“Really? I find that odd, your streams are rather entertaining. I’d have thought you’d have a large following.”

Ignis doesn’t just recognise him, he watches him? Prompto isn’t just starstruck, he’s been star-ground-pounded.

“I like you too.”

Ignis’ lips spread into an amused smile. Prompto realises what he’s just said.

“I mean! Your content! I like your content too!”

Ignis laughs. They all do.

“Well, we’re here. May as well get shots!” Gladiolus heads toward the bar. Noctis cheers.

Prompto is silent, taking it all in. Noctis seems to watch him carefully.

“I didn’t realise you all watched me.”

Noctis smiles at him.

“Noct doesn’t really give us much of a choice,” Ignis says, taking the seat on the other side of Noctis. “You’re all he ever watches outside of our own streams.”

“Shut it!”

Prompto blinks. Unbelieving.

“Seriously?”

Gladiolus is back, placing two shots in front of each of them. Ignis is the first to down his. Gladiolus gives him a brief look of respect, then follows his lead.

“Yeah, he thinks you’re cute,” he says once he’s done.

Noctis fixes Gladiolus with a glare that could melt steel.

“Stop talking! Both of you!” And throws back one of his own shots.

“If we have to hear it, so does he!”

Prompto is bright red, his hand shaking as he carefully swallows the glass of vodka, the burn in his throat doing nothing to quell his now raging heartbeat.

“Oh, he can dish it, but he can’t take it!” Ignis jeers. Prompto catches the wicked smile he wears as he picks up his second glass in a toast. “Well, to new friends then.”

But the way he says ‘friends’ makes Promtpo feel like it’s a secret word shared only between the four of them. Prompto can only raise his own glass, and throws it back alongside the three of them.

‘Liquid courage’ is as good as name for it as any, because otherwise Prompto would certainly have none to lean over the space between them and whisper into Noctis’ ear.

“I think you’re cute too.”

Gladiolus is a gem, pretending he didn’t hear. Ignis isn’t so quaint, but he remains smugly silent. Noctis’ face turns bright red. He reaches up to play with his bangs, a nervous habit Prompto recognises from Noctis’ streams when he receives a huge compliment that he genuinely believes.

They stay and drink and talk for hours. Last call was a while ago, Prompto vaguely recalls, but he’s having so much fun he’s completely forgotten he was ever tired. They’ve moved to the bar lounges at some point, and Ignis and Gladio are ridiculously cosy together on the leather loveseat they share.

Prompto didn’t realise they were dating.

“We don’t make a point to share such privacy with those whom it doesn’t concern,” Ignis explains.

Crap, he said that last part out loud.

“Also, I dunno if you’ve seen some of Ignis’ fans,” Gladio puts in. “They get really weird about him.”

“Remember when you flirted with him live and half his fanbase called you a predator because you’re two years older than him!?” Noctis is wheezing as he recalls the memory.

Ignis tosses his head back against Gladio’s shoulder and groans.

“The mess that made! My ban list grew from three to three thousand overnight!”

“Yeah, I know. I’m your mod. I put half of them there!”

They erupt into laughter at the memory of the ridiculous situation. They laugh and poke fun some more before Gladio is shifting underneath Ignis and standing up.

“Alright! I’m wiped! I’m going to bed.” He offers a hand to Ignis. “Coming, jailbait?”

Ignis snorts, takes his hand and joins him all the same.

“Once again, it was wonderful to meet you Prompto. We must keep in touch.”

Prompto nods eagerly.

Ignis points at Noctis.

“Five more minutes.”

“Yes, mum!”

Ignis swipes at him. Noctis dodges. Barely.

Once they’ve gone, there’s a calm silence that settles over the pair left. It’s not uncomfortable. In fact, Prompto is kind of warm and cosy. This has been a really good party, he thinks.

“So, like-“ Noctis starts. All his bravado and joyous humour from before has disappeared, and he seems to be finding his words as he stares at his knees. “If you’ve got time maybe, did you want to, um-“

Prompto’s heartbeat feels like a drum in his ears.

“I mean if you want to. We could play together sometime. Like, help each other out. I know you’ve been trying to get that level fifty jabberwocky for a while now. We could team up.”

Prompto tries to fight the goofy grin that’s over taking his face.

Noctis isn’t even asking to collab with him, which Prompto would still agree to in a heartbeat, but just playing with Noctis feels way more intimate, and sounds way more fun.

“Yeah! Of course!”

Noctis looks at him finally. His eyes sparkle. Prompto is struck again with just how cute he is.

They trade friend codes, and true to his promise to Ignis, Noctis says he really does need to sleep as they have an early flight back. He doesn’t know what possesses him to do it, but Prompto walks Noctis back to his hotel room.

And he truly means to say a friendly good night and a see you soon and he can’t wait to play with Noctis when they both get the time. But Noctis kisses him. On the lips.

It’s sudden and clumsy and burns with alcohol, but it’s good and warm and Prompto cups Noctis’ jaw and tilts his head and the kiss deepens. There’s a tingle that runs up his spine. He shivers. Noctis hums as he pulls away.

“Really good meeting you, Prompto,” he’s saying as he unlocks his hotel door and goes to move inside.

Prompto is pretty sure his brain is still riding the elevator up and down, so he just nods dumbly, to which Noctis gives him a grin before he shuts his door.

It takes a moment for Prompto to kick himself into moving again, his fingers chasing the tingling sensation still left on his lips. He gets in the elevator and forgets which floor he’s staying on. His red-faced but smiling image is reflected at him as the doors close.

[m-aster-of-spinjitzu]

the hues of an empty sky

Missing memories, or having two of them for one moment - not quite the same, but if there's one thing Jay's leant over the last few weeks, it's that literally nothing makes sense anymore.

Or, some Skybound aftermath, Zane actually expressing emotions about his memory switch being turned off for all those years, and what was supposed to be a 'they tell everyone about the erased timeline' fic, but it turned into a 'two characters who barely interact on screen talk at like one am in the morning, and don't actually tell the other what exactly they're alluding to the whole time' fic that I wrote at like one am- 

Also yeah, I realized too late that they split up to look for Wu after s7, we’re just gonna pretend that they waited a few days or something, idk anymore tbh, lol.

(I also didn't have time to edit - so please tell me where the typos are? 😂💛)

Word count: 4539

Prompt: crying, from @ninjago-bingo 's warm board.

Trigger warnings: the main character has a panic attack, and squeezes their fingernails into their hands once or twice but I think that's it.

*facepalms* also, guys, i’m so stupid - i literally just realized that this freaking CHANGES TENSE HALFWAY OHMYGOSH I-  i don’t think it’s super noticeable, but ugh, apologies to anyone who actually thought my writing was good lol-

---

It's cold.

Bitterly, freezing cold.

The biting chill of the air is a bit strange for this time of year, but, heck, that's nowhere near the craziest thing that's ever happened to him - not by a long shot.

He sighs, squinting at the stars dotted liberally against the black canvas of the sky.

Cole had once joked that one of them might be the remains of their golden weapons, after they'd hurled the burning mass into the sky - in another alternate timeline; one that only existed in the memories of a certain few.

Gosh - that seemed like such a long time ago.

Wouldn't it be nice to go back to that time, when he'd still thought that their powers were the coolest thing ever - instead of despising them for all the responsibility and sacrifice that came with them? When one of his biggest worries was whether the girl he had a crush on liked him back - not wondering if his friends would survive the night?

"I did not expect to find you awake at this hour, Jay."

Reflexivity, he jumps back, his mind twisting his friend's gentle voice into the- the djin's triumphant, accented one.

You're supposed to be a ninja. What good are you if your friends can still sneak up on you?

"Geez, warn a guy before you sneak up on him! I almost fell off the Bounty!"

"My apologies. I was... surprised to find you awake at this hour," Zane answers. "What are you doing?" "Couldn't sleep. It's too cold," he confesses, not entirely a lie. Ninjago wasn't 'that' far from the Sea of Sand, but he'd grown up in a much warmer area - unfortunately resulting in his practically nonexistent tolerance to the cold. That never failed to stop Kai from teasing him about it, though. He doesn't mention the pressing weight on his chest, almost tangible - or how it constantly makes him feel. Like he's being dragged through the darkness of an empty sky, spikes of fear making everything so freaking terrifying- "You?"

"I have been analyzing my memories of Pixal, in the hope that it may lead me to her whereabouts. However, all my efforts have proved... unsuccessful," Zane answers wearily, shifting his gaze to the sky.

Oh- oh. They'd all be so caught up in the chaos of the last few weeks - hey, it's not like any of them had asked the universe to permanently be out to get them! - that they'd forgotten Pixal was still offline.

"Hey, I'm sure that she's still there somewhere," he says, earnestly. "After all - she wouldn't be your girlfriend if she didn't pull a vanishing act every now and again, eh?"

The question is punctuated with a laugh, but he doesn't say that he's a little worried about her too. They hadn't talked much, but-

I can't see one of my best friends find out that his girlfriend is dead, a quiet voice at the back of his mind points out. Well - been there, done that, wouldn't recommend, he thinks bitterly. Emotional breakdowns and frequent nightmares apply. Anxiety attacks are half off, too!

It's quiet for a few minutes, neither of them seeing a need to break the silence. The wind blows softly through the sails above them; gray wisps of cloud revealing a pale sliver of moonlight that paints the sky in its glow.

It should be a peaceful night: beautiful, calm, no one trying to kill them or destroy their city - for a change.

His hands won't stop shaking.

It should be a peaceful night, but, as usual, the world is too freaking unfair for that-

He hasn't even slept for a full night in weeks! Well, not since- since-

Don't think about it! That's only going to make it worse, duh-

"Are you alright, Jay?"

"Yeah- I- I'm good, thanks," he says quickly, ignoring the way his breathing keeps speeding up. FSM, not this-

Not for the first time, the world suddenly becomes too loud - too much. Every little thing, from trying to breathe properly or even walk- feels insurmountable, because, gosh, oh gosh, it's going to come crashing down if he even moves-

The memory starts off the same as it always does.

Rubble strewn over the temple grounds, his friends literally reduced to nothing more than statues. A shot that hit the mark perfectly, but perfectly shattered his world in the process.

A poison-splattered dress, a terrifying realization.

Her well-aimed joke, but one that never fails to sting every time. Gosh, why hadn't they just allowed her to join their team in the first place? Maybe they could've prevented this- this- whole situation, if they hadn't been so freaking egotistical-

And, again, he's overwhelmed by the sheer sense of helplessness, all his power and training and skills completely useless to one of the people he cared most about. FSM, if only I hadn't used my first w-request so carelessly! If only I'd been able to escape- or, or if only I'd been able to assemble the team faster! If only-

Despite being in what must've been unimaginable pain, she offers a strained smile - a sweet gesture that, ironically, feels like she's poisoning him, because- because FSM, this is all so wrong, it wasn't supposed to end like this-

He watches with horror as her eyes dull and she stills in his arms.

She's gone, FSM, she's gone and it's all my fault-

"Jay?" a voice asks, concern evident in their tone. Distantly, he registers that he's having a breakdown in front of one of his best friends - one of the things he'd been trying really hard to avoid.

Dang it.

"I-" he tries to say, but, great, he's breathing too fast to even get the stupid words out.

"Breathe in for four seconds," Zane says, softly.

Four seconds? Time has no meaning right now, narrowed down to, like - falling down a chasm, terrified of what's at the bottom, except the fear's all around, this- this... foreboding thing of his mind that keeps yelling that he needs to run, or fight, but he can't, can't-

Right. Four seconds.

You're okay, you're fine, no one's trying to hurt you or your friends. She's not dead.

But what if- what if they're being dragged out of this ship right now? What if it was all a dream, and she's dead anyway, because all of us were too stupid to come up with another plan, and none of us could even do anything when she-

After a little while, when he could breathe a little easier, and the fear didn't feel like it was slamming into him from every possible direction, he slowly opened his eyes. Shakily, he wiped a tear from his face - as if that would wipe away all the weeks that had, theoretically, never even freaking happened.

The sky comes back into focus - pinpricks of light against pitch black. 

How was he going to come up with some sorta explanation without... well, explaining everything?

Great.

My nerves are frayed, and I have to lie to a walking lie detector - what could possibly go wrong?

"Are you alright?" Zane asks, his brows creased in concern.

"Heh heh, yeah. Probably just too many video games," he replies quickly, laughter a bit strained.

"You were muttering to yourself," his friend replies quietly. Ugh, trust the way-too-observant-nindroid to call him out on the remains of his facade. "If you do not mind me asking, what was 'all your fault'? I am sure that it was probably a misunderstanding."

You're the one who misunderstands everything, he thinks wearily, ignoring the part of him that yearns to tell someone else about... well, everything that's happened because of that stupid teapot. He's not one to keep secrets by nature, and it's been taking a bigger toll of him than he'd thought it would. Is this how Nya felt when she was still the Samurai? "It's- it's nothing, probably just nonsense."

"Are you sure? You seem... quite worried about something."

Dang it, were his hands still shaking? He presses his fingernails into his palms, squeezing his eyes shut for a second.

He's talking to one of his best friends, FSM. Weren't friends able to tell each other anything?

"Do you think it's easier to forget? Better?"

He didn't even realize he'd asked a question until Zane's eyes widened in surprise.

A forest coated in snow, ice crystals dangling from the tree branches above their heads. Plenty of screaming - way too much, he reflects, couldn't they have been a bit nicer? It must've been pretty jarring to learn that you weren't human, or that your father had erased years of your life from your mind - in that weird underground treehouse. Those crazy tree monsters - and the realization that they all had much more power than they'd thought.

"N- nevermind," he stutters, fleetingly thinking of kicking the deck. "That's way too personal, you don't have to answer it-"

"I do not mind," Zane says, a bit sadly.

Oh.

Heck, his friend was way too nice.

They gaze up at the stars for a few minutes, not really seeing them - one drowning under the weight of too many secrets, the other, too many memories.

It's quiet - too quiet.

Ugh, he thinks, sighing, that sounds like something a low-budget horror movie would start with, cringey sound effects to match.

But the silence is a painful reminder of the days he'd spent tossing and turning in a cramped cell - nothing but his worries and the bruises on his leg from that stupid ball and chain keeping him awake.

He's been trying hard - maybe too hard - to avoid being alone, avoid being in a situation where they've gotta be quiet ever since then, because, dang it, his memories always seem to fill the silence, and they're always far more terrifying than they should be-

It's easier, in a way, to be mocked for his stupid jokes than it is to relive a single moment from those nightmarish few weeks.

Almost reflexively, he grasps for something to fill the quiet.

"Heh, this is a bit awkward. It's okay if you wanna leave-"

"I do not mind," Zane echoes, walking a bit closer. "It is not as if I need to sleep. But... I do not quite know what to think of your question."

There comes the answer - or a semblance of one at least, and it's the last thing he'd been expecting.

"You don't know?" he blurts out before he can even think of trying to filter the thought. Way to treat your friend who's been nothing but kind to you, Jay. "But you're- you're a nindroid! You know everything-"

"Pixal," his friend mutters softly, sighing, and the hurt, the fear, laced through the word makes something in his heart practically twist. He knows all too well what it feels like to be in that situation - even if, technically, it had never happened.

Then- "I wish that were true. But I suppose that my emotions make certain situations much more complicated than... than they need to be. Thus I cannot give my perspective on this - or, at least, without sounding quite conflicted."

"You know that you're allowed to be conflicted, right? Even the coolest Nindroids don't know everything."

"...Yes, I suppose so."

Jay frowns at the almost subconscious hesitation, eyebrows creasing in concern.

"Seriously," he starts earnestly. They're both leaning on one of the railings just above the deck now. "Just 'cause you're a nindroid doesn't mean that you've gotta chase some kind of perfection that doesn't even exist."

He doesn't miss how Zane's eyes widen in shock, their bright blue hue glowing a little brighter - and heck, if that doesn't hurt even more than the earlier realization.

"Besides - it's not like none of us haven't made mistakes before. Hate to go all Wu on ya, but they help us learn or some stupid thing like that. Even if the mistake is trying not to make 'em, you know?"

"Thank you," Zane replies, a tired smile on his face. "Even the most advanced tech is susceptible to error, I suppose."

They've all made lots of mistakes, heaven forbid if one of them is still agonizing over messing up over the crazy situations the universe constantly put them in. It's not like they were told they'd have to face more ancient evil armies than they could count, were they?

Maybe it's time to stop focusing on events that never even happened, and pay more attention to your friends. What's the point of being part of this team if you're always scared or selfish?

"Shut up," he mumbles, rubbing his temples. What's the point of fighting if your own brain is gonna fight you whenever it gets a chance? A few seconds later, he schools his face back into his default anxious grin. "Great, cause I- I- could use your advice on something." "Alright," comes the quiet reply, his friend seemingly lost in thought.

"What if you wanted to tell someone something, but you couldn't?"

His breathing starts to speed up again, but he grips the deck until his fingers are practically bruised, stark white against his tanned skin. Not this time-

"Is this what you were referring to earlier? An event that you blamed yourself for?" Zane asks, eyes flitting between the floor and the sky.

Dang it, way too observant as usual. He masks his surprise with a laugh, but the conversation definitely isn't going as planned and, oh gosh oh gosh, what if-

No, there's no way that any of them would even believe that. Besides - no one can remember stuff that they've forgotten, especially if magic's at play.

"Yeah, kinda," and he's surprised by how steady his voice sounds. It's not easy to even think about that- event, talking about it is a whole different thing. A much more difficult thing, but also - a bit, a little bit, easier. "I-" "Apologies for interrupting," his friend interjects. "I suppose that I have not been entirely honest with you." What?

"A few days ago, I discovered a number of deleted memory files buried deep within my code."

Just like that, his whole world tilts out from underneath him.

It takes every ounce of his strength to keep himself from falling into the abyss again.

Wait, what?

Has he really known for all this time? It's been weeks! Surely he would've said something? It can't be, it never even-

The rational part of his mind points out that he can remember every day of those few weeks. Well, he was the one to make the wish - magical logic is kinda stupid, but maybe that's why he had to remember it or something?

Well then, a small voice interjects, why was Nya cursed to remember everything too?

Of course, even the stupid magical logic doesn't even make sense to the one who caused this whole mess in the first place.

"They were almost entirely corrupted - scrambled in a way that I am not familiar with. However, I did realize that certain files bore dates that have not even occurred yet. I dismissed it as a problem with my code, however..."

Breathe, calm down, it's not like he was able to process them or anything-

We agreed that no one was supposed to know! What if they end up blaming us for keeping it a secret this long, or, or-

"I mean, they could've been-" he starts, but the way in which he's nervously twisting his fingers is a pretty clear indication that he's lying, dang it.

"So when you mentioned that you were unable to tell someone something - did you mean that it was because they had quite literally forgotten about it?"

Great. Fantastic. Of course the literal robot has pieced it together by now-

He squeezes his eyes shut for a minute, hoping that if he ignores the problem, maybe it'll go away.

Okay, fine, maybe he's trying to figure out a way to fix this whole mess. Doesn't mean that he's any closer to coming up with a solution, though.

"Er, yeah," he whispers, shoulders slumped, eyes still firmly shut. Because gosh, he doesn't want to - can't, can't - see the realization dawn that, yeah, he's lied to people he's known for years and years, even though they've all seen way too many times that secrets bring nothing but trouble-

"Well, then - I would say that you don't have to tell them," Zane replies, surprisingly... earnestly? That, or he's either too freaked out to understand the tone properly. Could be either.

He opens his eyes, hesitantly.

And it comes as a bit of a shock to find nothing but concern reflected in his friend's.

The almost persistent weight on his chest feels a little lighter now, like the sky isn't as quite so empty.

Well, it still kinda is. But that doesn't hold as much weight as he'd thought it did - not if one of his friends is willing to look past that; past the heaviness of holding up all those memories with nothing his single star, flickering in and out of the darkness, to try and light the unforgiving darkness of the sky.

"Why?" Jay asks, so quietly he can barely hear it himself. "Don't I owe it to them? Do you?"

"No. Definitely not," comes the reply, so full of conviction that he almost stumbles back. Why-

"My father..."

Oh- oh.

"thought it was better to spare me the pain of mourning him than for me to know who I was," Zane confesses, hesitantly. "Not that I disagree, necessarily. I just..."

He trails off, clutching the railing so hard that the wood almost snaps beneath his titanium fingers.

It takes Jay a little while to realize why - why exactly his friend, who has access to a wealth of knowledge and information, is grasping for an answer. Because- because, well, even if someone does something in your best interests - sometimes the choice isn't always up to them. Or maybe it is, but it was... difficult, to say the least, to let go of the fact that his parents had never told him the truth sooner. Not that he blames them, necessarily - it's not like they knew that his father would pass on before he'd even get the chance to meet him - but... it's confusing, and difficult, not to know why you were left at a junkyard as soon as you were born. Maybe if he'd known that sooner, he could've asked the one person who might've had answers - although it's not like hoping for the past to change will actually change it.

They don't even know that you know, a small voice at the back of his mind points out, and suddenly everything makes a lot more sense-

"You wanted a choice," he breathes, eyes widening. A choice - like one that he'd never been given, one that he stills struggles not to hold against two people who've always had his best interests at heart. Even if they did have the right to withhold that one thing, after all they've done for him - the 'what if's' still echo in his mind far more often than he'd like. "There's nothing wrong with that, even if it feels that way. I kinda get where you're coming from, dude, and it's... super confusing, but I'd be pretty mad if my memories were tampered with like that."

So would anyone, he realizes, heart sinking. Oh, great. Not helping-

"I- I suppose so?" Zane answers, but it sounds more like a question than a reply. "However, in the same vein, it would be unwise for you to give away your choice whilst you still have one." "But don't I owe it to everyone? You just said it, it's horrible to alter people's memories and I- I-" "Did we forget... whatever it was for a good reason? "I- I mean, I guess, but..." "Then you do not owe it to us to relive something that we do not even remember." The words should be a relief - and they kinda are. But some part of him really does want to explain the crazy alternate timeline, and everything that happened in it. It's just... really, really freaking difficult.

"What if- what if I wanted to, though?" Jay asks hysterically, running his hands through his hair in a frenzied sort of way. "And I still couldn't? I just, I-"

He cuts himself off with a bout of forced laughter.

Zane takes a moment to reply, the bright blue light in his eyes flickering - a small tell that he was thinking so deeply, his processors were literally sparking up a bit.

"You queried earlier if it was easier, or better, to forget. And while all situations are different, I suppose it is... well, subjective. What do you think?" Zane asks, softly.

Derailing the conversation a bit, but his friend's obviously smart enough to be leading up to something.

Sure, he'll go along with it.

"I mean, there are some things I'd rather forget, you know? I guess we all know what that feels like," Jay replies, the statement with oddly sad air to it. They're still kids, after all, and it gets a bit exhausting pretending that their superhero lives were all fun and games - when they'd just given him enough grey hair to last then lifetimes, and enough nightmares to keep him from ever getting the normal amount of sleep his mum always prattled on about.

Sleep, heh heh. Practically a foreign concept, now.

"And I know that stuff that happens, like shapes us or something - and Master Wu would probably go off on a whole ramble about why we learn from our mistakes or whatever," he laughs nervously, resisting the urge to just fall headfirst onto the deck of the stupid ship instead of continuing the conversation," and how 'our scars only make us stronger', crap like that, but I just-"

"I'm just really... tired of this," he confesses warily, shoulders slumped. "W- I remember so many horrible things, and I-" he breaks off, laughing bitterly. His voice takes on a sort of brittle quality, way too high pitched, "and I can't even talk about them, dude. If that's not the most pathetic thing ever, I dunno what is."

"It does not-"

"Don't say it," Jay mutters, rubbing his temples. "I know, I know, my feelings aren't pathetic, they're always valid, whatever, spare me the lecture-"

"That is not what I was going to say," Zane replies gently. "It just seems that you have answered your own question."

"Gee, which one?"

"I do not know how much helpful assistance I can provide in this situation, but it is understandable to wish certain events had never occurred. However, seeing as we cannot change the past, it seems unwise to dwell on said events if you can avoid it."

Jay stiffens, clamping a shaky hand over his mouth. Something seems to press down even harder on his chest, a heavy sort of weight that causes his breathing to speed up again. Don't say it don't say it there's no reason to warn them this time-

"If you would like to tell any of us about something, of course you are welcome to. It does not to be the whole story, after all. Just make sure that it is the decision you choose, not one you choose because of what you think how it will affect others," Zane finishes quietly, ducking his head as if he's embarrassed.

The stars are still white-hot, burning away some million miles above them.

"Thanks," he says, and puts his hand softly on Zane's shoulder. "I mean, I know - that all makes sense, I guess. It's just- I-"

"You want to?"

"Yeah," Jay starts, sighing, "I do. It's just- it's not just my choice. And I'm pretty much dying already right now, so, as fantastic as making it all worse sounds, hard pass."

Oops, maybe he shouldn't have said that last bit. They'd agreed not to tell anyone about it - even this conversation was cutting it way too close. It wasn't impossible for them to put everything together - they were a pretty smart group, after all, even without their resident inventor and engineer - and Jay didn't really know what he'd think if they did. Fearful? Relieved? Angry?

"That does... not sound great? Dying certainly does not seem-"

"It's called sarcasm, Zane."

"Oh- yes. My memory now accesses the fact that people often speak in that manner. It does seem a bit counterproductive, though. Why not just say what you mean?"

"Shut it, you have no clue how integral to my life it is," Jay replies with a halfhearted grin.

A few seconds later, he remembers something his friend had mentioned earlier, and the grin disappears.

"You know that you can talk to us if you're not happy, right?" he asks, earnestly. Sure, it's not like he could always do that, considering, well, a stupid djin and even stupider magic, but it's not like he needs to. It's- well- he'll be okay, probably. Maybe. Kinda.

Zane's eyes blink on and off again, blue fading in and out. "I... I suppose that I was not quite aware of that."

Okay, they've screwed up way too many times, but this... this is pretty bad. Dang it, how long does it take for them to throw self-preservation instincts at their friend before he freaking- picks them up or something?

"However, will it not hurt those who have experienced the same unfortunate events?"

Dude, not the best question to ask someone wondering the exact same thing-

"It's been... uh, nice, kind of, talking to you. So- I don't think so, and I'm pretty sure someone would say so if it did. Besides, don't we talk about our adventures all the time? It'd probably be better if we... uh, well- heh heh, nothing."

"If we talked about the less than positive elements of them? Perhaps, but I still-"

Maybe it's the fact Zane has always tried to be there for him, or maybe he's too sleep deprived to care anymore, but this is a way too familiar situation and-

Well, not ignoring the issue would be a start.

"Sorry to interrupt, but we're family, Zane. We care about each other. And, gosh, that means that we care about you too. Memories are stupid and annoying sometimes, but we have to make good ones too, right? To block out the bad ones a bit, I guess? Kinda, at least."

They both look away from the stars now, grappling for something else to say.

In the end, they leave it be with a hug and a fondly exasperated warning about sleeping, if you happen to need it.

After all, they're family. They don't have to be perfect, or tell each other everything - even if it does take them a long time to realize that, and an even longer time remembering it.

---

The next time Jay startles awake from a nightmare, the sky is still empty - painfully so, like an ache that simmers beneath the surface even when it's not able to be seen.

The hue, though, is a little lighter.

Just a little - the all-encompassing darkness of it is now a navy sort of blue, his star shining a little bit brighter.

It's still not sunrise, not even close - but he'll take it. AN: the ‘sky’ mentioned at the start and end is a stupid metaphor that i somehow ended up liking too much to trash, it’s ‘empty’ because he hasn’t told anyone about the timeline, and Nya’s not included because they never had a chance to tell each other everything significant or even talked about it or processed it on screen. so yeah! if you read this,,, not great thing, can i send you a hug or good vibes or smth? tyy🥺

[hopelesshawks]

WOAH WOAH is your MHA reqs open?? So I wanted to request a Todoroki x Reader Angst where Todoroki sees his s/o getting stabbed by a villain with countless sharp spears like in Chiaki’s death video in danganronpa along with 1-A and just loses it? I’m sorry I’m craving for angst rn ✨✨ also love your writing and remember to stay safe <33 💕💗

My requests are open yes!! I have actually missed receiving them (and tbf I’m prolly not getting them because I’m doing daily updates on History of Us hahaha). So thanks for the request anon. I’m also really touched that you love my writing 🥰 I hope this lives up to your impression of me!

I had never seen danganropa but I just looked up what you were talking about and w o w I am in ✨pain✨ 🥲 I’ve got you anon. It’s going to hurt but I got you. Did I drag out (y/n)’s last words? Yes. Would they realistically already have died before saying all that I have them say? Probably. But this is fanfic and if movie writers can do it then goddamn it so can I!

CW for angst, somewhat graphic description of major character injury and death (reader), non-major character death, and canon typical violence

Nothing has been the same since the fall of the hero commission and the loss of faith in the Symbol of Peace’s generation of heroes. It’s been two years since Shigaraki wreaked havoc and Dabi exposed Endeavor’s crimes. As pros unused to that level of violence retired or quit, hero class students have been forced to step up and fill in the spaces they left behind. As a result, even as their faith in the pros waned, the public started to see the students as a beacon of hope. All Might, they whisper, spoiled the current generation of heroes. They argue that Endeavor is now too old to keep up, that Hawks and Mirko are too burdened by their mentors’ failures, and all the heroes aged in between are too used to the relative peace of the golden era to be effective. These current students though? Students like the famous UA hero class A, now third years who’ve already seen so much? They are the new hope. They’d grown up in the fires of a post-symbol of peace era and as such they are the only ones who can drag society out of it. It would be flattering if not for the overwhelming pressure that comes along with it.

Shoto thinks he would have been crushed beneath that pressure if not for you.

The two of you had started growing close your first year during the provisional license exam make up classes. Spending so much additional time together over the weekend had allowed Shoto to slowly open up to you until a beautiful friendship had blossomed. Even still, both of you had secretly yearned for something more. It was only after the destruction of Jaku City and the Todoroki family secrets were aired to the whole of Japan that the two of you finally acted on your feelings. You’d been such a source of support for him afterwards that eventually he hadn’t been able or willing to hold back any longer and had confessed his feelings to you late one night in the dorms. The two of you have been together ever since and fully intend to open a hero agency together after graduation. He knows the two of you are still young but sometimes when he looks at you with your blinding smile or when you’re sleeping peacefully beside him, he swears he can hear wedding bells. If the civilians of Japan can consistently forget how young you all are as they urge you to take over for the pros, then it seems only fair he should be able to forget too.

His mother was ecstatic when he asked her about engagement rings. Endeavor had said it was too early, that marriage is too large a commitment to make at 18 years old, but Shoto insisted and eventually a compromise was reached. He’ll wait until after graduation but then he’s determined to make you his forever and always.

It’s an otherwise normal Saturday afternoon in the dorms when Iida and Momo get an urgent distress signal to gather the entirety of the class and head into the city. A large group of ragtag criminals, determined to become the next League of Villains, is terrorizing Musutafu and the number of casualties is climbing rapidly. The other heroes usually responsible for that area had been called away to handle a different disaster and all attempts made by the civilians to defend themselves had only led to more chaos. The entire class mobilized in seconds. Calls like this aren’t uncommon now. The villains have been banding together more and their bloodlust seems to have grown exponentially with civilians’ continued lack of trust in the current pros. By the time you all arrive to the scene there’s no time to waste. “Be careful,” you tell Shoto, carefully running a hand through his hair before resting it on his cheek. He brings his hand up to cover yours before promising, “I will.” He presses a kiss to your palm but before he can do more Bakugo sharply barks “Hurry it up lovebirds we got a fucking job to do!” before racing off. You both know he’s right. “I love you,” you tell Shoto. “Love you too,” he promises before you both steel yourselves and then take off into the fray.

It’s an absolutely grueling battle. Every time someone takes one villain down, another comes to take their place. “Pinky! On your left!” you call out, causing your classmate to sharply turn. Mina just manages to dodge a punch one of the villains throws her way and swiftly counteracts with an attack of her own, calling out a thanks. There’s no time to breathe though and almost as soon as you’re done warning Mina, you have to dive in to keep another villain off Ojiro’s back. It’s chaotic but slowly you’re starting to pick away the forces as many of the remaining villains start fleeing. Once it looks like they’ve all retreated you instinctively look for Shoto, having not seen him since the fighting had properly started. You catch sight of him and heave a sigh of relief. You call out his name to catch his attention and although he initially offers you a soft smile you notice his eyes suddenly widen. “(Y/n) behind you!” he calls out.

Every moment after that seems to happen in slow motion.

You turn around just in time for a spear to fire clean through your shoulder, knocking you off balance. You start to fall backwards but before you can even hit the ground at least a dozen more rise up from the asphalt and impale your body. You hear Shoto’s broken cry of your name but it sounds so distant to you. After a moment stuck in place the spears suddenly drop back into the ground. Shoto is next to you in a second, pulling your broken body close as you bleed out. One of your other classmates tries to call for medical support but all he can focus on is you and the sheer amount of blood you’re losing. Shoto knows his training. He knows that when a victim has been stabbed it’s crucial to put pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding, but how can he when there’s so many fucking wounds. “You’re going to be ok. You’re going to be ok. You’re going to be ok.” He says it over and over again like a mantra. It’s both a plea to you and a desperate attempt to deny the harsh reality that the love of his life is bleeding out in his arms.

You press a bloody hand to his cheek, looking lovingly up at the man you’d do anything for, and shush him quietly. “Sho,” you rasp, voice already weak as your body tries and fails to cope with your injuries. “Don’t,” he warns. “Sho, baby, look at me,” you try again but he shakes his head, shutting his eyes tightly as tears start to run down his cheeks. “Please?” you ask and he can’t deny you, never could, so he opens his eyes and looks down at your glossy ones as you fight to stay awake just a little bit longer. “There they are. I always did love your eyes,” you tell him wistfully as your thumb strokes his cheek, smearing your blood there, though you don’t seem to notice. “You can’t leave me. You have to be ok,” he whispers but you shake your head. You can already feel yourself fading and with medical attention still several minutes out at least you know there’s no fixing this. “I need you to promise me something,” you tell him. “Anything,” he replies immediately and it brings a sad smile to your blood stained lips. “Promise you’ll find someone else after me,” you say and the scandalized look on his face would have probably made you laugh under different circumstances. “You’ve got too much love to give to let it die with me,” you tell him but he shakes his head again. “I could never love anyone else like I love you,” he swears and he means it with every fiber of his being. You chuckle wetly. “You always were stubborn. Fine, then promise to never forget me,” you compromise, tears welling in your own eyes now too. “I couldn’t even if I tried,” he swears before leaning down to press one last kiss to your lips. He can taste the tang of iron and feel your tears and his mingling on your cheeks. “I love you,” he whispers against your lips as he pulls away, but for the first time since he first said the words to you, you don’t say them back. “(Y/n)? Baby, I love you,” he tries again, pulling back to look at you properly now. Your eyes remain shut, your hand falling limp from his cheek, and when he looks to your chest the rise and fall of it has ceased.

Devastation claws up through him like a rabid animal, tearing him apart as his whole world shatters around him. He feels his grief like a physical ache in his chest, radiating out to each of his limbs as if every cell of his body is violently rejecting the fact that you’re gone. “Todoroki-kun?” Midoriya asks cautiously, putting a gentle hand on Shoto’s shoulder. Shoto’s head snaps up as he cradles you closer, as if scared your body will be taken away from him too. Before Midoriya can say whatever he was going to, Denki’s voice cuts through the tense silence. “I got him!” he crows, shoving the villain down to the ground in front of his classmates. Shoto’s eyes land on the villain and instantly his grief twists into a searing rage. He gently lays your body down but his eyes are cold and lethal as he stares down the man that took you away from him. Midoriya realizes what’s happening a beat too late and by the time he reaches out to grab Shoto, the grief stricken man has already launched himself at the villain and grasped hold of him. His right hand closes around the man’s throat, ice wrapping around it like a vice grip. He’s vaguely aware of his classmates calling his name but he doesn’t care. This man stole the love of his life from him. For that he will pay. Before Todoroki can finish the job he’s suddenly being yanked back by Midoriya and Bakugo. “Let go of me!” he demands as he fights against their hold, ignoring their warnings and empty platitudes. He manages to wrench his left arm free for a brief moment and that’s all he needs. His flames shoot out, preventing Midoriya from getting a good hold of him again, and the man who murdered you goes up in flame. His howls of pain echo around the buildings around them but the sound is music to Shoto’s ears. Let him suffer. It’s a fate he deserves.

His classmates watch on in stunned horror until the villain is burned down to ash. As his flames die out so too does all the fight seem to drain from Shoto as the crushing grief returns. Bakugo let’s him go once it’s clear he’s not a threat anymore and Shoto uses his freedom to drag himself back over to your lifeless body. It’s not fair. You’re so young. He’s so young. Why was this fight even you all’s responsibility in the first place? He’s been excitedly planning his proposal to you for weeks. Now he’ll have to plan a funeral. The thought makes him physically ill and he has to turn to the side as bile climbs up his throat and he retches onto the asphalt beside him.

How is he supposed to go on without you?

Midoriya returns a hand to his shoulder as the paramedics finally arrive. It’s too late. Far too late. One of them approaches cautiously and like a dog protecting his master Shoto immediately lashes out. “Don’t you fucking touch them,” he warns, eyes cold and voice lethal. The paramedic jerks backwards, his hands up in surrender, as he cautiously looks to the other class A students for advice. They have none. They’ve never seen Todoroki like this. They can’t even begin to imagine what he’s going through. It’s Eijirou who steps up in the end. He approaches Shoto carefully, as if his classmate is a feral animal, before kneeling down to his level. “They need to take (y/n) to the hospital on that stretcher over there,” Kirishima tells him carefully, jerking his head in the direction of the waiting ambulance. “Can you carry them there for the paramedics?” he asks. Shoto stares at Kirishima blankly as if trying to process his words before slowly nodding. “Ok. Let’s go then, yea?” Kiri asks. Another nod in response before Shoto carefully gathers you into his arms. He ignores the way your body has already started to go cold as he carries you over to the stretcher. He tries to pretend they’re just rushing you to the hospital, that they’re speeding you over to recovery girl and in a few hours time you’ll be tired but cheery, teasing him for being so worried about nothing. But as he lays you down and then watches them zip you up into a black bag, he knows it’s a hopeless fantasy. You’re gone and you’re never coming back.

A few days later he sits in a black suit with a black tie and a silver chain carrying an engagement ring around his neck. He leans against Fuyumi, who sits on his left side, while his mother grasps tightly onto his right hand. Behind him Natsuo rests a steady hand on his shoulder. His father hovers nearby, unsure how best to offer his support or if his support would even be welcome. They are the only thing that keeps Shoto from falling apart. When the time comes, he stands on shaky legs and approaches your open casket. At first he’d been insistent he wouldn’t look, but his mother had argued his last image of you shouldn’t be your broken body, riddled with holes. So he looks down at you, pieced back together by some mortician, lying motionless in the nicest outfit you own and he traces every detail of you. He tries to patch over the memory of you broken on the ground that haunts him every night since it’s happened with this image of you now. He pictures all of the good and beautiful moments you’ve shared together, let’s them swell in his chest until they’re too large to contain and pour out of him through his silent tears. He leans down and presses a gentle kiss to your too cold forehead and mumbles to you again his final promise:

“I love you, (y/n). I’ll never forget you.”

[if-music-be-the-food-of-love]

Happy Birthday

Robbe IJzermans!!

“I Want it All” ch. 8 Sneak Peek: Robbe’s Birthday

Summary: Sander goes all out for Robbe’s birthday. So much fluff. All fluff. Amelia is cute. Still rated T. This takes place about halfway through the chapter.

**Disclaimer: This is a rough draft. Please forgive my typos and inconsistencies. As always, it’s long (7k). Enjoy!

Link to fic on Ao3. This is not posted there. Preview below only:

Amelia - almost 12 months

Sander

 “Bye, Laurence,” Sander said before hanging up the video call and closing his laptop. He stood, and reaching his arms overhead, stretched side to side before arching his back and twisting a few times. As he rolled his shoulders, he heard giggling coming from the kitchen, and a slow smile spread across his face. 

Curious, he left their bedroom and followed the sound to the kitchen, where he found Amelia in her high chair, cackling and clapping her hands as Robbe ‘found’ Cheerios in her ears. He’d show her his empty hands and then reach for one of her ears where he’d miraculously ‘find’ one and give it to her to eat. Her eyes grew wide every time he brought the Cheerio in front of her, sheer adoration and amazement all over her face. She’d squeal as she reached for the cereal and laugh and clap her hands as she popped it into her mouth.

After four more Cheerios received the same treatment, Sander strode forward casually, hands in his pockets, and said, “Still don’t think that’s the best way to impress the girls.” He ruffled Amelia’s hair and gazed down at Robbe, a teasing smile on his lips. “Glad to know those magic tricks paid off. Longest investment I ever made.” He then ruffled Robbe’s hair, and muttered, “Dork.”

Robbe snorted in response and blushed prettily as he rolled his eyes up at Sander. “It’s your fault. You can only blame yourself. And,” he poked Amelia’s nose and made another Cheerio appear out of it, eliciting more loud giggles, “Amelia is clearly impressed. Aren’t you, sweet girl?” He asked, speaking directly to her, his voice dropping into a goofy drawl. “You think I’m amazing, don’t you? Forget what your silly daddy thinks. He’s just jealous.”

Sander bit the inside of his cheek and pursed his lips, his head shaking side to side. “If I’m jealous of you,” he finally said, “I guarantee it’s not about the magic tricks.” He winked at Robbe, pursing his lips into an air kiss, and then swooped down to kiss the top of Amelia’s head. 

“How’s Laurence?” Robbe asked, refocusing his gaze on Amelia and continuing her magical meal.

Sander shrugged, stepping up behind him. He waved his hands forward a few times, and understanding him immediately, Robbe scooted to the edge of his chair. Sliding in behind him and then pulling Robbe back into his chest, arms still wrapped around his middle, he answered, “Tired. They’re afraid the baby might have colic, but it’s a little too soon to know.” Robbe shivered beneath him at the thought. “He looks like a zombie. Did we ever look that bad?” He rested his chin on Robbe’s shoulder.

Robbe chuckled lightly and turned his head to kiss his cheek. “Yes, we did. At one point, you looked like death, and I was seriously worried. Remember? I had to stage an intervention. I’m sure I didn’t look much better. Those first few weeks...just thinking about them…it was rough.” Robbe shuddered again, and Sander gave him another squeeze.

He kissed the space between Robbe’s shoulder blades and then rested his cheek on his shoulder, lips lightly touching his neck. He let his eyes close, and a companionable silence descended between them as Robbe continued to feed Amelia her snack while Sander rested. 

Several minutes later, Robbe’s fingers touched his hands, pulling him out of his light doze, and he said, his voice coming across gravelly because Sander’s ear pressed into his shoulder, “I’ve been thinking.”

“Mmhmm,” Sander responded, his eyes still closed.

“Amelia’s birthday is three days after mine, and I know we already have some big plans. You know, all the chaos and people and food. It’s a lot to plan and manage. Maybe this year we don’t do anything for my birthday. Just stay home, nothing special. Its--”

“No,” Sander cut him off, snuggling in a little more. “Absolutely not.”

As if not hearing him, he continued, “Maybe in the future we could just do a combined birthday or something.”

“No. No. No,” he hesitated for a moment and then added, “No. C’mon, Robbe, I’ve been making a fuss about your birthday for almost two decades. You really think I’m going to stop now just because our daughter’s birthday is so close? Please.” He let out an exasperated “pfft” into Robbe’s neck.

“But, it just makes sense, especially this year,” Robbe tried. “We should focus on her. It’s her first birthday. It’s a big deal.”

Sander sat up, his voice turning serious. “And so is your birthday. The day you were born is a big deal to me. You are the most important person in my life, and I want to celebrate the fact that you exist. Would you deny me that?”

Robbe turned to look at him, and Sander thrust his lower lip out into an exaggerated pout. Robbe shook his head in response, but the corners of his mouth twitched. “That’s kind of sappy, San.”

He dropped his forehead onto Robbe’s temple and said, “You make me sappy. Not my fault.”

“Hmmm,” Robbe responded noncommittally. A second later, he surprised Sander with an elbow to the stomach, saying, “And honestly, not fair. You know I’d never deny you anything. Turning it on me so that I’m doing it for you? Pathetic.”

Sander grinned and hugged him closer. Bringing his lips to Robbe’s ear, he whispered, “Yet effective.”

“Ugh,” Robbe groaned, but he leaned back into Sander, clearly giving in already. 

“Anyway,” Sander continued in a normal voice, “This is the first birthday where I can show you exactly how much I love you.  I’m going all out, baby! I already have everything planned, and Zoë offered to watch Amelia before I even asked. So...you’re stuck.”

Robbe moved like he was going to protest one more time, but they were interrupted by a stream of babble from Amelia. She had about a dozen Cheerios on the tray in front of her, but she kept clutching at her ears and then looking disappointedly at her hands. Each time they came up empty, she chattered at them as if giving them a pep talk before trying again.

“Oh no!” Sander guffawed. “What have you done?”

Unable to control himself, Robbe’s body shook with laughter. “I...I...well...oops.”

“Oops is right. Let’s hope she doesn’t try to pull Cheerios from anywhere else.”

“Sander!” He elbowed him in the stomach again, but they both laughed. They laughed so hard Amelia finally gave up looking for Cheerios and stared at them in confusion, completely at a loss for why they were giggling so much.

 Robbe

 Robbe’s birthday dawned wet and cloudy, but the grey atmosphere did nothing to dampen Sander’s spirits. He woke up early to make Robbe a ‘real’ breakfast before work and shoved him out of the door with a dozen kisses and a promise to come directly home.

When Robbe arrived back at the flat, he found Sander’s backpack stationed by the door and Zoë’s shoes resting next to Amelia’s. He gave the backpack a second curious glance and then followed the sound of voices to the kitchen.

“Dada!” Amelia’s voice called, and Robbe immediately redirected from looking for Sander to searching for Amelia. She stood next to the couch, holding on with one hand, her chubby legs steady beneath her. 

“Hey, princess,” he said, squatting down a few feet away from her. She took confident steps toward him, hand sliding along the couch in support, and then in her excitement at being near him, she let go of the couch and half toddled, half fell forward into his arms. 

He held her for a moment, unmoving; then his jaw dropped, and he looked up, seeking Sander’s eyes. When he found them, shining and surprised, he asked, “Did you see that? Did it count? Do you think it counted? Did she walk?”

“I saw at least two actual steps before she fell forward,” Zoë said helpfully.

“I think I saw three,” Sander agreed. “I think it counts.” 

Robbe squealed, lifting Amelia into the air as he stood, and swung her around. “You did it!” he shouted over and over again. He hugged her to his chest and showered her in kisses.

Then it was Sander’s turn. He hugged them both, liberally peppering them with kisses as he said, “And you did it on your daddy’s birthday! What a sweet girl! Happy Birthday!” He gave Robbe a loud smack on the lips.

“B-tday.” Amelia mimicked, clapping her hands, and they both erupted into even more praise.

“Best birthday present ever,” Robbe said, giving her cheek a final kiss before putting her back down to play.

“I dunno about that. Til now, maybe, but I have plans to top it. Just wait,” Sander said, bumping his shoulder.

“Oh really?” He wrapped his hands around Sander’s waist and looked up into his face, eyes teasing. “You really think you can top my daughter’s first steps as a present?”

“Definitely,” Sander said confidently, his mouth spreading into a broad grin.

Sander’s confidence gave Robbe a moment of pause. What could he possibly have planned that he was sure would top this? He was even more curious about the bag by the door.

 When they reached the sidewalk outside, Amelia already being happily spoiled by Zoë inside, Sander took Robbe’s hand, and they turned towards the bike rack. 

“So,” he said, “We have a few options. We can’t head to the main event until 20:30, and then we’re having dinner afterward. So between now and then we can do whatever you want.”

“Wait, what? The main event? Wouldn’t dinner be the main event?”

Sander smirked down at him, saying smugly, “Nope. You’ll see. So--” He clapped his hands together, rubbing them quickly while lifting his eyebrows playfully at Robbe. “What should we do now? I’m all yours.” He opened his arms and turned to walk backwards in front of him. 

Grinning at him, Robbe said, “Oh, I’m well aware.” He then gave him a light shove and took his hand again to pull him alongside. “I thought you had it all planned. Now you’re making me decide. Rather unfair, don’t you think?”

Sander snorted, dropping his head forward. “Ro-obbe, this is part of the plan. You get to decide how we kill time together. Just us.” He looked up, his hand reaching out to caress Robbe’s long hair. “No babies. No friends. No responsibilities.” His fingers trailed down Robbe’s cheek. “Just us.”

Robbe’s breath caught, and when he met Sander’s eyes, he could clearly see how pleased he was with himself. Robbe rolled his eyes at him, bumping his shoulder with his forehead as he mumbled, “You can’t seduce me in the street, you know.” 

Sander’s teasing voice lilted, “But I can make you blush.”

Robbe groaned, but when he lifted his head a soft, dreamy smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. Sander beamed back at him and kissed his forehead. He then tucked Robbe under his arm and led him to the bike rack. They unlocked their bikes and set off, heading in the general direction of the Schedlt.

In the end they decided to just walk along the riverfront, lingering anywhere that struck their fancy. Sander took about a hundred pictures of Robbe as they went, much to his consternation, which eventually led to him running away and them chasing one another around. Teasingly, Robbe would let him catch him, or he’d tackle Sander out of nowhere; but after a few kisses, he’d slip out of his grasp and dart away again. 

At one point Robbe leaped at him from behind a tree, wrapping his legs around his waist, and it surprised Sander so much his legs buckled; and they tumbled to the grass. Robbe rolled to his stomach and kissed Sander’s cheeks and forehead apologetically while his hand snuck into his pocket and stole his phone. When he pulled it out, he snapped three photos of his shocked face in quick succession and then leapt to his feet and ran down the walkway. Sander shouted, “You little shit,” behind him, and rose to his feet more slowly. He took off after Robbe, laughing and glaring simultaneously. Robbe turned around, jogging backwards, and pointed the phone at him again, zooming in on his face. 

“Not as much fun on the other side of the camera, is it?” he called.

“Robin, you ass!” he growled back.

Robbe stopped abruptly, and raising both eyebrows as he cocked his head, he pouted, “But you loooove me.”

Sander slowed to a walk, approaching him with outstretched hands. Slightly out of breath, he huffed, “Yes, I love you, idiot.”

Robbe giggled in response, lifted the phone up, and snapped several more photos of Sander’s exasperated face before racing off in a new direction, taking photos randomly as he went. He chuckled to himself thinking about all the pictures Sander would have to sort through and delete. 

As he darted around the next tree, he took pity on Sander and turned around to allow him to catch him. Sander slammed into him, and Robbe wrapped his arms around his middle, burying his face into his chest. Sander burrowed his nose into Robbe’s hair and murmured, “You gonna give me my phone back yet? I do actually want to document some of tonight for posterity’s sake.”

Robbe kissed his chest and then lifted his face to nuzzle into his neck. “Only if you promise to be in more of the pictures. No more random ones of just me. I want us. Together.”

“Fine,” he said, smiling into Robbe’s hair.

“Excellent.” Robbe lifted the phone, flipping the camera, and took several selfies as they hugged and kissed against the tree. “Better,” he said a few minutes later, finally handing the phone back to Sander.

Exhausted, they strolled back towards the path and collapsed onto a bench facing the river. Sander rested his arm on the bench behind Robbe, as they leaned into one another, watching the sun begin to set over the city, the orange rays fighting through the remaining clouds. Several minutes later, interrupting the calm that had settled over them, Sander said, “We’re going to have to go soon.” Robbe made a quiet, guttural sound in his throat, and Sander chuckled, knocking his knee into Robbe’s. “I promise. You want to go. You’re going to love it.”

“More than Amelia’s first steps?”

“Yes,” he said confidently. Then he paused, adding, “Maybe. Probably. I mean, they’re such different things you can’t really compare them, but I guarantee you, you’ll like this. So,” he nudged Robbe’s foot with his own, “We should go get our bikes.”

Robbe begrudgingly agreed and allowed Sander to pull him to his feet. They walked briskly back to their bikes, and Robbe followed Sander, now almost overflowing with curiosity. Where on earth was Sander taking him?

As they ascended the elevator in the Sint-Annatunnel, Sander lifted an eyebrow at Robbe, saying one word: “Race?”

Robbe grinned back and said, “You’re on.”

As soon as the doors opened, Robbe stood and put his full weight on his pedals, propelling himself forward. He and Sander raced neck and neck, occasionally avoiding pedestrians and other cyclists. About halfway through the tunnel, their eyes met, and without saying a word, they slowed to a more reasonable pace.

Sander pulled out his phone and aimed it at Robbe. Shaking his head, Robbe admonished, “Selfie mode, baby. Selfie mode.”

Sander rolled his eyes but acquiesced, flipping the camera and taking several photos of the both of them as they neared the exit.

 When they arrived at their destination, Robbe’s eyes grew wide, and he asked, “The pool?”

“Yeah, the pool. Our pool.”

“Our pool,” Robbe repeated under his breath as he locked his bike. Knowing their destination wasn’t helping. He was as confused and curious as ever.

Sander shrugged on the backpack, and turning to Robbe, said, “Okay. So I need to go get the key. There’s something I want you to see around the corner, so just stay here til I come back.” 

“Okay,” he answered. As he waited, he began to fidget nervously, alternately pacing and bouncing on his toes. What were they doing here? What mad scheme had Sander come up with for his birthday?

About two minutes later and just after Robbe had to clasp his hands in front of him to keep them from shaking with nervous energy, Sander returned, jangling a set of keys from pinched fingers.

“Alright,” he said, grinning, “We’re good to go. The pool’s ours for the next hour.”

“It is? Just us?”

“Yep,” Sander confirmed, wrapping his arm around Robbe’s neck and pulling him in. “I gave our old coach a call, and he was willing to do me a favor as long as I promised that we’d continue coming for lap swim. There might have been something about volunteering at the next swim meet as well, but I’ll deal with that when I get the email.”

“Wow. Okay,” Robbe said, still confused. “Now what?”

Sander kissed his temple and said, “Don’t worry, Robin. I’ve got it all covered. Now,” he swept his arm forward in an arc, “I wanna show you something. Let’s go.”

Sander steered him to the end of the building and around the corner. About halfway down the alley, he stopped and said, “Pull out your phone and turn on the flashlight.” Robbe did as he said, facing the light towards the ground. “Okay,” he continued, “Now point it over here.”

It wasn’t full dark yet, but since it was overcast, the sky was darker than usual. Robbe lifted the light, directing it to where Sander indicated, and he gasped. 

On the wall, in bright oranges, reds, browns, and yellows, was an enormous robin, its wings outstretched as if landing on a branch, its feathers ruffled around the neck, its brown eyes fierce and piercing. As Robbe took it in, his eyes darting from one detail to the next, Sander came up behind him and wrapped both arms over his shoulders, pulling him into his chest. 

“Before you worry,” he whispered, “I had permission.”

“This is like your tattoo,” Robbe finally managed. 

“Yes and no. They are similar,” Sander kissed Robbe’s temple, “But if you look closely, you’ll see that this one is quite a bit more aggressive. The one on my hip...that one is softer, sweeter, a more cuddly Robbe--the one I see at home. The one I’ve known and loved almost my whole life. This one is a bit more badass, more intense--the focused scientist the world gets to see.”

Robbe swallowed, unable to form words, and continued to stare at the robin, his robin. Sander was right. Apart from being a robin with outstretched wings, they were completely different. The robin on Sander’s hip was etched permanently in his memory. He’d spent hours studying it, tracing it, and kissing it. It was softer, the edges less harsh, the expression less intense. He wasn’t entirely sure he deserved to be labeled a badass scientist, but he could definitely see the differences in the two birds.

Kissing his ear, Sander continued, “And anyway, my tattoo is special, so much more special.”

Robbe turned a questioning face up at him, still unable to speak, and Sander breathed a quiet laugh, answering his unspoken question, “Because it’s our secret. It’s just for us. The world can see this one, the awesome, amazing, intelligent chemical engineer who gets published in fancy journals. The other one is ours.”

Finally finding his voice, he whispered, “How? Why?”

Sander laughed in earnest, his whole body shaking, taking Robbe along with it. “Really, Robin? Do I ever need a reason to draw you?”

Robbe ducked his head, pressing a shy smile into Sander’s bicep.

“Okay, but really. I’d been wracking my brain, trying to think of what I could do for your birthday, and I had this idea. I knew this wall was here because we used to run around back here. I asked the pool owner if it was alright, and she said yes. What I wanted to do was cover this entire wall with your face. You know, because that’s how much I love you.”

Robbe’s stomach fluttered suddenly, and he placed his hands on top of Sander’s, briefly kissing the soulmark on his left wrist.

“But,” Sander continued, “I didn’t think you’d appreciate your actual face on display, possibly for years, so I sprayed the next best thing, your namesake. And voila! You got a three meter high Robin. Happy Birthday!”

Overcome with emotion, Robbe again couldn’t respond with words, so he spun in Sander’s embrace, sliding his hands up to his face. The light was dim, but he knew Sander could see him well enough; so he gazed directly into his eyes and put all of his feelings, his love, his complete devotion to and adoration of Sander into his look, trying to express how he felt about the gift without words--that he loved it, thought it was amazing, and was honored to be the subject of Sander’s skill.

Slowly, Robbe lifted up onto his toes and kissed him softly, worshipping his lips with lingering kisses and caressing his skin with light fingers, as if he were the most precious treasure that deserved care and attention and love. 

Sander had always been great with words, but he truly expressed himself best in his art. Such a large, public piece of art was a declaration of love, as or possibly more meaningful than his words. He poured his heart and soul into his work, but this was a full exposure. There was no way Robbe, or anyone who knew the backstory, could deny the depth of Sander’s feelings, and knowing that until two months ago, he could not have done this, couldn’t have shared his love at all, let alone this loudly, filled Robbe with love and longing. Sander had waited so long to love him openly, and it was almost exploding out of him uncontrollably. It had exploded onto this wall, in vibrant colors, and Robbe could only imagine where it would surge out next. 

His wonderful, beautiful, talented Sander was the most loving person in the world, and he couldn’t believe how lucky he was to finally have him, all of him. The feeling was overwhelming, and he started to deepen the kiss, pulling Sander closer and trying to plaster himself to his chest.

Sander smiled beneath him and leaned back a little. “I’m so glad you like it, and while I’d love to do this all night, we have to be out of the pool by 21:30. So…”

Robbe lifted up on his toes one last time, leaning forward to peck his lips. “Fine,” he sighed, “There better be more kisses coming, though.”

Smirking cheekily, Sander gave Robbe another quick kiss and said, “I promise. You will get more kisses.”

“Good. Lead the way, then.”

 The purpose of the backpack became clear the second they entered the pool’s changing rooms. Sander had packed their towels and swimsuits. They changed quickly, and then, leaving their things behind, strode out into the large, echoing chamber.

Sander lifted an eyebrow and, repeating himself from before, said, “Race?”

Robbe nodded. “Race.”

They made their way to the blocks. “Fifty or one hundred meters?” Sander asked.

With a wicked gleam in his eye, Robbe answered, “One hundred. Butterfly.”

Sander groaned, and Robbe grinned evilly. He knew exactly how much Sander hated the butterfly.

“Fifty?” Sander hedged.

“Fine. Fifty. But then we do one hundred free. Deal?”

“It’s your birthday,” he said, stepping onto the block.

“Yes,” he agreed, smugly, “Yes it is.” He stepped onto the adjacent block.

They took a few seconds to set their hands and feet, and then Sander began the countdown. “On go, three, two, one, go!”

They dove into the pool, and Robbe almost immediately regretted choosing butterfly, as neither of them had goggles. Valiantly, he struggled on, kicking hard and sweeping his arms wide, opening an I when he could. Still, it was no contest. Even without proper equipment, he was back at the start while Sander had over half a length to go.

He swam over to the lane divider, and crossed his arms over the blue plastic, waiting for Sander. Once he touched the wall, he turned to face Robbe, sputtering, “I hate you.”

Robbe reached his toe out, poking him in the side, and said, “No, you love me. That’s why we’re here.” He tickled him with his toes, making Sander squirm back. He giggled proudly, and snarked, “You ready for the next one, or does the old man need a moment?”

“Old man?” Sander sputtered again, spraying water everywhere. “You’re the one who’s actually older today, and twenty six is by no means old.”

“Well,” Robbe said, reaching out again with his foot, “I’m only turning twenty four, so...math. It never lies. You’re old.” He extended his toes to poke Sander again, but this time Sander grabbed his ankle and pulled him under and toward him. 

He came up sputtering and spitting, wiping water out of his eyes. Sander gave his chest a slight shove and backed him up into the side of the pool, placing one hand on either side. “So,” Sander teased, his eyes heated, “What you’re saying is that you like older men.”

Robbe wrapped his legs around his waist, hands braced on his shoulders, and said, “I love you. I like whatever you are. So I guess I like older men.”

Sander rolled his eyes. “Of all the things I am, you went for old. Thanks.”

“Sander?”

“Yes.”

“Shut up.” And Robbe curled his arms around his neck, running his fingers up into his hair, and kissed him. The kiss was less successful this time because neither of them could stop smiling. Finally, Robbe mumbled into Sander’s lips, “Okay. You’ve had a long enough break. Let’s go.”

Together they lifted themselves out of the pool and climbed onto the blocks. Sander counted down again, and they dove into the water. Freestyle was Sander’s stroke, so it didn’t matter how long they raced. He’d win. Every time. Robbe didn’t really care. He was just happy to be spending some carefree hours with Sander on his birthday.

As expected, Sander won, finishing several lengths ahead of Robbe. “Now who’s old?” he asked, as Robbe touched the wall.

“Still you,” and Robbe splashed him with an avalanche of water.

They spent the next twenty minutes fooling around in the lap pool. As with everything they did, there was a mixture of teasing, bickering, wrestling, and kissing. With the added element of water, there was also a considerable amount of splashing.

At one point Robbe had to stop Sander from tackling him because he’d splashed water up his nose. Immediately redirecting his momentum, Sander scooped him up in his arms and kissed his nose while Robbe recovered. 

When he finally felt better, he snaked his arms around Sander’s neck and pulled him into a soggy kiss, Sander still cuddling him to his chest.

Robbe marveled at how different things were between them now and yet how familiar the whole evening felt. They’d spent years training and messing around in this pool, playing together, racing, competing, acting foolish--much as they were now. The pool had been their safe place, their neutral ground. Since they went to different schools, having somewhere they both felt at ease had been important, and somehow they’d begun to associate one another with water. Now, even as adults, it was where they came together, meeting up after work to trade out Amelia and exercise. 

The main difference was the kissing. When they were kids, it had been about fun. Now, it was still fun, just in more ways, ways they could never have imagined back then. And honestly, the kissing was nice, better than nice. Kissing Sander felt like a miracle, something he craved like an addict. After being denied for so long, it felt wonderfully luxurious and overwhelming and special, like his body came alive and every nerve ending was ramped up, feeling each sensation that little bit more intensely. He was so lucky, so damn lucky they’d figured everything out. It almost made him cry, but he focused on Sander’s lips, slick with chlorinated water, and his own hands, as they ran over the muscles on Sander’s back and shoulders. 

Robbe kicked out his legs, freeing them from Sander’s grip, and wrapped them around Sander’s waist again, giving himself a better angle to kiss and caress his soft, golden skin.

Sander, however, had a different plan. As Robbe aimed a kiss at his neck, he pulled away, panting as he disentangled Robbe’s arms and legs from his body. “Wait. Wait, Romeo.”

“What?” Robbe whined, his lip jutting out petulantly.

Sander laughed at him and cupped his face. “I told you. I have the whole evening planned.” He jerked his head over to the diving pool. “We have a date with my old nemesis.” He jokingly glared at the diving platform.

“We do?” At Sander’s nod, he shrugged and said, “Alright.”

They swam to the edge and crawled out, holding hands as they strode to the deeper pool. “Any chance,” Sander hesitated, bumping Robbe’s shoulder, “That I could convince you to...uh…” He snapped the waistband of Robbe’s swim trunks. “Remove these?”

Robbe turned to him, aghast, whispering furiously, “What? No, there are cameras! There have to be cameras here. No way, San. No way!”

Clearly disappointed, Sander frowned but nodded and began chewing on the inside of his cheek. His eyes searched the cavernous room, and he looked thoughtful. As if coming to some decision, one that pleased him, a slow grin spread across his face--an obvious warning that Robbe probably should heed but was willing to ignore--and clutched Robbe’s hand tighter, pulling him toward the ladder.

Robbe ascended first, and Sander gave his ass a light slap before he followed, making Robbe smile. Robbe reached the top and moved aside so that Sander could climb up behind. Sander��s fear of heights hadn’t followed him into adolescence, so venturing up here today wasn’t an issue for him. Robbe was sure he was doing it more for nostalgic reasons than anything else. 

As if he could read Robbe’s mind, Sander said, “Remember when you punched that kid for me.” He pointed to the space in front of the bleachers. “It was over there.”

Robbe nodded, wrapping his arm around Sander’s waist. 

“You were my hero, you know,” Sander said quietly, earnestly. “I was in such awe of you. This little tiny thing, dripping wet, hauling ass out of the pool to deck that asshole, someone who’d been tormenting you for months. That you, the kindest, most caring person I know, would defend me like that. It was...you were magnificent, and I loved you so much for it. That might have technically been when I fell in love with you, but since I was ten at the time, I definitely didn’t realize it.”

“Hmpf,” Robbe grunted. “He deserved it. He could have killed you. Even thinking about it now makes me--” His body shook, and he growled. 

“I know, baby. I know.” He hugged him tighter. “It’s fine. We’re fine. And anyway, let’s enjoy ourselves. We’ve never been allowed to do this.” He spread his arms out, indicating the platform. 

“What? You mean be up here together?”

“Yeah. We definitely need to take advantage because you know they’ll never let us do it again.”

“True,” Robbe agreed. Then he had a thought, and he turned an excited, crooked grin at Sander. “Amelia’s going to jump off this thing one day.”

Sander’s jaw dropped, his eyes going wide as an expression of sheer panic came over him. He shook his head dumbly, finally saying, “No. Nope. No. I can’t handle that.” He looked over the edge, shivered, and said, “No,” one last time. 

“C’mon, San. It’s not like it’ll be next week, but yeah, it’s gonna happen. Our girl is a daredevil. We’re doomed.”

“I know,” Sander said, frowning slightly. “We are so doomed.”

Robbe kissed his shoulder and bumped him with his hip. “Stop worrying, and let’s jump off this thing.”

Sander stepped aside, still holding Robbe’s hand, and doing the one thing they were never allowed to do at the pool as kids, they took three steps forward and jumped into the water together. 

Robbe hit the surface with a splash and plunged underwater. Somewhere along the way, he had lost Sander’s hand, so he used both arms to swim to the surface. Taking a deep breath, he noticed that Sander hadn’t surfaced yet. He searched around, looking for a dark shape. A few moments later, Robbe saw Sander rising beneath him. His body almost grazed Robbe’s as he broke the surface, appearing directly in front of him. Their eyes met, and immediately Robbe was suspicious. There was a playful, teasing glint in Sander’s eyes, a smug, self-satisfied glimmer that alerted Robbe to mischief. The question was what.

Before Robbe could ask, Sander blurted out, water spraying into Robbe’s face, “You know, I think I would have jumped off the platform sooner if you’d been allowed to go with me. That was a stupid rule. I’m glad we’re breaking it now.”

Robbe smooshed his hand into Sander’s face but smiled in agreement. “You’re probably right, but you eventually did it. On your own. And that’s all that really matters.” His fingers traced the shell of Sander’s ear before returning to the water to help him stay afloat. “I was so proud of you. I almost went hoarse cheering. You were amazing, baby.”

Robbe glided forward, reaching out to pull him into a kiss, and then stopped abruptly. Wait. Was Sander-- He slid his hand down Sander’s chest, following the curve of his ribcage down to his hip, and--

Nothing.

No swim shorts.

Robbe’s hand was now on Sander’s bare ass. He lifted his eyes to Sander’s and found that playful, pleased look again. He winked. “Enjoying yourself, IJzermans?” 

“Sander, what the hell?” He pulled back, his arms and legs treading water madly. His eyes darted around, searching for Sander’s shorts on the bottom of the pool.

Sander began swimming in a slow circle around Robbe, leaning to the side. “You were worried about the cameras. Well--” he grinned, “The cameras can’t see underwater, so we’re safe.”

“I--err..umm...San, I don’t know,” Robbe stuttered.

“Don’t worry, baby. I have a plan. We’ll be able to retrieve them before we leave.” His eyes grew soft, and his lips pouted. “Please, baby, indulge me.”

Robbe knew he’d lost the second Sander turned on the pleading eyes. He rolled his eyes and sighed, moving his hands to his waist. 

“Oh no, baby. Allow me,” Sander interrupted, stopping his hands. He brought his hands to Robbe’s waist, accidentally kicking him a few times as he treaded water, and unknotted the shorts. He then pushed them down and taking a deep breath, he plunged below the surface, arms reaching overhead. Robbe could feel him working them the rest of the way down. 

When he could see a dark shape sinking toward the bottom, Sander popped up again in front of him, once again grinning. “Now doesn’t that feel better?”

“Honestly,” Robbe answered, “It feels kind of weird and not weird. Weird because we’re here, and I’m freaking out a little. But not weird because I’m with you, and it’s not like I’m not naked in water all the time at home. Well, except usually it’s in a shower, not an enormous, chlorinated bathtub.”

Sander barked out a laugh, leaning his head back. “Only you, Robin, would be analyzing this right now. Just go with it, baby.” At his words, he began circling Robbe again, his eyes turning predatory.

“Should I be worried?” Robbe asked, lifting an eyebrow and turning his body to face Sander as he moved.

“Not at all.”

“Are you sure? You’re kind of circling me like a vulture.”

“I’m just enjoying the view,” Sander stated, matter-of-factly.

“Pfft. You’re ridiculous.”

“Robbe?”

“Yeah.”

“Take a deep breath.”

“Wha--” Robbe began but stopped when he saw Sander dive beneath the surface, his pale bottom peaking out momentarily before his feet kicked up behind him.

Before Robbe could process what was happening, he felt Sander’s hand close around his ankle, and he was barely able to suck in a deep breath before he was pulled underwater.

So surprised by the turn of events, Robbe’s eyes shot open, and he looked around. Sander floated directly across from him, his dark hair undulating slowly above him. His eyes were open, focused on Robbe, his gaze intense.

Robbe realized what was about to happen just moments before it did. The bottom dropped out of his stomach, and his chest ached, his heart beating like a hummingbird in anticipation. Sander’s arms pulled back, propelling him forward, and then his hands reached for Robbe’s face. Robbe’s fingers automatically found Sander’s neck, and within moments they were kissing. This was happening. It was happening!

And...it was interesting, a little bizarre. Their lips pressed together softly, the water providing a surprising resistance. 

As he tried to deepen the kiss, an air bubble escaped Robbe’s mouth, and as he opened his lips for Sander’s tongue, a gush of chlorinated water flooded his mouth. He exhaled it out, closing his lips around Sander’s, and kicked his legs, propelling them upward.

When they reached the surface, they broke the kiss briefly to breathe and then slammed their lips together, kissing more successfully and furiously, hands caressing whatever they could reach.

Even as his mind registered how romantic this was--that Sander had paid attention when they were watching Romeo and Juliet and understood how much Robbe wanted to try this, that Sander had fabricated this whole evening to give Robbe the romantic moment he wanted, that kissing Sander anywhere at any time was still his favorite thing to do--his brain couldn’t stop thinking about how awkward it was. Sander didn’t taste like Sander. Water still dripped down their faces, getting in their eyes and tickling their cheeks. Their hands were occupied, holding one another closer, which made treading water harder. They were so close, their legs kept kicking one another. The whole thing was a bit of a mess, sloppy and uncoordinated.

Even so, Robbe enjoyed it. He was here. He was with Sander. They were kissing in their childhood pool, and Sander loved him, a fact that still staggered him, crushed him, made him feel weak and the happiest, luckiest person alive all at the same time. 

And everything so far tonight screamed how much Sander loved him. The date night, the robin, the pool, the underwater kiss. It was all so much, so wonderful, so ridiculously over the top, just like Sander, that Robbe couldn’t contain his feelings. Even as his body fought to stay in the kiss and his mind analyzed it, his heart exploded with love, overwhelming him. He needed more. He needed to be closer to Sander. He wanted to show him how much he loved him, how grateful he was to have him in his life.

Without thinking, he wrapped his legs around Sander, and within seconds, they sank below the surface. It didn’t take long for them to come sputtering back to the surface, laughing uncontrollably.

“Someone got carried away,” Sander snickered.

“Yeah well. You’re hot, and I love you,” Robbe countered.

“Touché.”

“Sander, that was...that was…”

“Awkward,” Sander supplied.

Robbe ducked his head, blushing because that’s exactly what Sander had thought it’d be like. Softly he continued, “I was going to say mind blowing, and it was,” he emphasized, responding to Sander’s incredulous look. “But yes it was also super awkward.” He blushed again and ran his knuckles along Sander’s cheek. “But thank you. You are the best, baby. This whole thing,” and he waved around at the pool in general, “Has been so amazing and wonderful. I can’t show you how much I love you right now because we’d drown, so I’ll tell you. I love you.” He gazed earnestly into Sander’s eyes, willing him to understand the depth of his feelings. “So much. You are truly the best, and I am so, so lucky.” 

“I love you too, Robin, and don’t get too excited. I’m not done yet.”

Robbe startled back, “What? You’re not?”

“I actually have one last gift for you.”

Robbe looked at the clock on the wall, 21:20. “Well, you can give it to me soon, then. We have to leave in a few minutes. I mean, that is, if you’re giving it to me here.”

“Oh, I’m giving it to you now.”

“You are? How?” Robbe asked, confused.

“I have it right here,” Sander said, opening his arms wide. 

Robbe looked at him, completely bewildered. Sander was naked. His pockets were in his shorts, which were currently at the bottom of the pool. What? How? Robbe’s eyes darted all over, looking for a clue, but he found nothing. 

How could Sander have one more present to give him? What was it? 

**Lets pretend this is one of the selfies they took at the tree…

Thank you for reading and celebrating this fictional boy’s birthday with me. I don’t think there’s any possible universe where Sander doesn’t spoil Robbe rotten on his birthday. Again, please forgive my mistakes (I was rushing to get it done), and I look forward to sharing the rest of the chapter with you….what is Sander’s surprise gift? Wait and see! 💖💖

[ninjago-bingo]

final month recap

wow, everyone.  we’re here.  we’ve made it.  we’re reached the end of our bingo time, and i’m absolutely floored by the sheer creative output that i’ve seen over these last four months.  everyone, take a moment to give yourself a pat on the back!!!  no matter if you made 1 piece or 10, there’s now a work of art out there in the world that wasn’t there before.  and truly, that’s super heccing rad no matter how you look at it.

so let’s celebrate!  for this recap, we have a total of 20 new pieces, bringing the total amount of ninbingo pieces up to 50.  in the span of four months, this little event has created 50 individual works (five of them in the last day!)  holy cow ya’ll.

i’m putting out this recap now, but don’t worry, it’s not the end yet!  any submissions made to the end of the 30th still count and this post will be updated accordingly :D

fic:

all the things i’ve never done by @sa-you-na-ra. tumblr || prompts: competition and teasing

It’s always a funny thing when the ninja realize new things about each other. Even though living with each other meant they had to see each other all day, there were still small habits or actions that amused the others.

(mod comments: all these little interactions made me smile so much :D looking forward to the rest!)

error 404: answer not found by @m-aster-of-spinjitzu. tumblr || prompt: memories

Akita and Zane talk after the battle in ‘Awakenings’. The conversation… doesn’t go as either of them expect.

(mod comments: the nuances in this fic are fantastic!  also Akita is always a win :D)

Five times kai was a good brother by @/master-of-fluff. tumblr || ao3 || prompts: nightmare and brother

I'm writing kai centric stuff again.

(mod comments: kai IS the big bro of the team!!! i support him all the way!!)

How Garmadon became a chauffeur by @master-of-fluff. tumblr || ao3 || prompt: driving

"um...Kai? Don't you think we should go Slower?" Garmadon asked nervously trying not to panick as they raced down the road at what had to be over the speed limit.

(mod comments: who let Kai drive?  no but honestly this is canon alskdfj)

little things by @/rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: hugs and crying.

"Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you'll look back and realize they were the big things." -Kurt Vonnegut

Lloyd’s tired of being left behind. How is he meant to be the green ninja when he always has to work harder, train better, and wait longer to go on missions with his team? He wants nothing more than to be their equal.

At least, that’s what he thought he wanted.

(mod comments: a post-ep-18 resolution scene?  SIGN ME UP!)

Neither Snow Nor Rain by @fangirltakesall. tumblr || ffn.net || prompt: post-fight

After their return from the Never Realm and all its troubles, Zane is quiet and Nya is incredibly worried. A call to action to a peculiar sort of battle might be enough to change both of those things.

(mod comments: the concept of these two on their own mission together is just so good! excited to see how their dynamic plays out!!)

Never Put Off Until Tomorrow by @/rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: video games and chores

…what can be done today, yada, yada, yada, we all know the saying. So do the ninja- when Master Wu is drilling it into their heads every minute of every day, it’s kind of hard to forget.

Naturally, it only takes them a week (and the biggest new video game in Ninjago) to do so.

(mod comments: this is so in character that it’s frustrating lol.  also Pixal ftw!!)

oh take me back to the start by @/rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: comfort and 3 am

The past should be left in the past. Or, at least, that’s what Jay keeps telling himself. Nadakhan is gone. It’s not logical to still be afraid. But he is, and now everything that he left behind suddenly feels like it’s never going to be the same again.

Cole isn’t so convinced.

(mod comments: Cole is truly the man we all deserve in our lives.)

On Our Own by @redefine-your-identity. tumblr || prompt: home

It’s been a few weeks since Kai and Nya’s parents disappeared without a trace. Needless to say, they’re struggling.

(mod comments: OU C H no poor babies 😭 the relationship dynamic here is great!)

orange and gold by @/m-aster-of-spinjitzu. tumblr || prompt: cooking

...I just need more Cole and Vania content, they seem like they'd be great friends.

Basically it's just 'Cole goes to visit her there, they almost burn down the kitchen, and make way too many puns', lol.

(mod comments: I also always need more Vania content!! the puns in this were breadful!)

permafrost by @/rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: loss of control and promise

It’s not like this is the first time this has happened. It’s not like none of his teammates have ever suffered this kind of guilt and pain. It’s not like Zane himself hasn’t walked through hell before and come out the other side (mostly) in once piece.

Except, this time, it is. It shouldn’t be different, but it is.

(mod comments: super sweet moment between two ninja who deserve more interaction like seriously!!)

Precautionary Tale by @/fangirltakesall. tumblr || ffn.net || prompt: protective

Fighting is different now, and Zane doesn't know why. Yes, he is titanium now, but why should that change anything? It seems to be changing everything, although is all really as it seems?

(mod comments: a great start to a zane-centric fic!  interested to see where it goes next :D)

Star-Ninja! by @rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: siblings and competition 

What happens when the loveable gremlin the ninja adopted off of the streets introduces them to Starfarer comics?

Chaos ensues, of course.

stuck with you (through bright and blue) by @/rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompt: protective

Kai only wants two things: to protect Lloyd, and to give him the best birthday ever. Unfortunately, Lloyd seems hell-bent on making that as difficult as possible. Kai’s always prided himself on achieving the impossible, but dealing with human emotions is much more complicated than beating up Garmadon’s generals or shooting enemies with fire, as he quickly learns. Movie!verse

(mod comments: happy birthday lloyd!! look at him getting the love he deserves uwu)

Take a walk in the rain. by @/master-of-fluff. tumblr || ao3 || prompt: rain

Cole had always loved the rain, the way it smelled, the way it felt on his skin, and especially the mud! Whenever it rained his Mother would put on his rain coat and boots And they'd both go out and splash around in the puddles and make mud cakes and do all sorts of things.

(mod comments: this fic made me smile a lot :D loved the way it was arranged!) 

the hues of an empty sky by @/m-aster-of-spinjitzu. tumblr || prompt: crying

Missing memories, or having two of them for one moment - not quite the same, but if there’s one thing Jay’s leant over the last few weeks, it’s that literally nothing makes sense anymore.

Or, some Skybound aftermath, Zane actually expressing emotions about his memory switch being turned off for all those years, and what was supposed to be a ‘they tell everyone about the erased timeline’ fic, but it turned into a 'two characters who barely interact on screen talk at like one am in the morning, and don’t actually tell the other what exactly they’re alluding to the whole time’ fic that I wrote at like one am-

(mod comments: Skybound resolution? SIGN ME THE HECK UP YES)

The Make-Cole-Realize-How-Much-We-Love-Him Competition by @21st-century-ninja. tumblr || ao3 || prompts: bets and competition

Jay and Kai share a horrified look.  “He really doesn’t get it,” Jay says.

Kai shakes his head.  “We need to show him somehow.”

“Show me what?” Cole asks, exasperated again.  

“How much we love you!” Kai exclaims.  “Somehow, it’s not getting through your thick skull that we want to sit next to you because you’re you, so I’m gonna have to just prove it to you.”

(mod comments: a silly little movie fic!)

twitter was a mistake by @/21st-century-ninja. tumblr || ao3 || prompts: teasing and birthday

Kai 🔥 @flaminhotninja ☑

so who was gonna tell me that Jay used to be a game show host huh

🌺✨ the Gift of Jay ✨🌺 @zaptrap ☑

Replying to @flaminhotninja

NO WHO SHOWED YOU

(mod comments: twitter was a mistake)

two halves of a broken whole by @/rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: scars and post-fight

The Sons of Garmadon have been defeated. Garmadon is in prison. The city has been saved.

In the aftermath of the battle, Nya is more than ready to take a much-needed break. But the life of a ninja is messy. Recovery is never that simple. Although the wounds may have healed, the scars still remain.

Zane’s scars seem to match up, though. And maybe together, they can begin to heal.

(mod comments: aggressive care is my jam, and this is it!)

wait by @rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: home and memories

Lloyd’s not so great at being patient. It’s not his fault though- maybe he would be better at it if waiting didn’t always end up being so disappointing- if people actually kept their promises. But this time’s going to be different, he knows it. His father will come back for him. And Lloyd’s going to wait.

As long as it takes.

(mod comments: baby.  baby boy.  baby.  protecc him plz.)

[undine-taz]

5 times Diavolo failed to be a sugar daddy and one time he succeeded

I'm just imagining poor Diavolo trying SO HARD to spoil an MC who is just. Not greedy in the slightest and loves weird little shinies while being totally indifferent to the super crazy expensive gifts he usually gives to people he's trying to woo. Just in case, this is the PUREST OF FLUFF and completely sfw. I can’t even think of any tw to tag??? Let me know if you notice something. Oh, and MC is imagined to be gender neutral. There’s a mention of perfume, but not in the feminine sense- that’s just the proper word for a certain level of scent concentration.

1. Expensive Perfume

Diavolo's first attempt is the most expensive perfume/cologne money can buy

He's not quite sure what MC's favorite scent is, so he buys a wide variety

All the bottles are sleek and minimalistic and the scents inside are VERY obviously expensive, the kind of thing Mammon would probably lose his mind over

MC's reaction is perfectly grateful, they say sincerely how much they appreciate him thinking of them. He doesn't feel a single lie off of them and he walks away mostly satisfied thinking maybe they’re just the type to not show a ton of excitement over gifts

That is, until he's walking down the hallways in RAD and happens to overhear a conversation between Asmo and MC

Asmo's talking about how he's been going through perfume at a record pace lately, and he feel so bad about wasting these beautiful bottles... would MC like them? He has one shaped like a rose, one like a star, one modeled after the cosmos... 

Asmo doesn't even get to finish because MC is already flapping their hands in joy (I'm autistic and MC is going to happy stim if it kills me) and wiggling and practically jumping into Asmo's arms in excitement

Asmo's laughing and promising to save all of his prettiest empty perfume bottles for MC from now on and MC is practically wiggling in joy and nuzzling their face into Asmo's chest in happiness

They’re talking about spending the night in Asmo’s room trying to make perfume blends for each other to fill up the bottles and tossing scent ideas back and forth

And Diavolo is sitting there feeling a bit like he's been bonked over the head. Those happy stims are ADORABLE and he wants to be the one who causes them. He's not sure why his perfume failed and Asmo's literal empty bottles worked but he's DETERMINED to try again

2. Fancy gemstones

Diavolo's next attempt is fancy gemstones. He finds large, beautifully cut and processed gemstones, the type that are so perfectly processed they look almost identical except for color

Again, when he gives MC his gifts he can tell that they're sincerely grateful! They tell him they love that he was thinking of them, they worry that he spent too much money on them ( they try to refuse at first because it's too much, but Diavolo breezes past their protests with a smile and an iron will) and Diavolo doesn't sense even the tiniest hint of untruth from their professions of gratitude

But.... there are no happy wiggles, no stunned gasps, no joyously flapping hands, no nothing. Just calm gratitude.

Diavolo goes back to the drawing board, and he's just going to visit the HOL library for inspiration in a rare book (and as an excuse to see MC) when he hears Satan and MC laughing together in the library.

When he walks in, he sees Satan and MC crouched together with some strange tools in their hands, gently chipping away at a large rock. There's a tiny pile of uncut, unprocessed gemstones at MC's elbow.

As soon as MC sees him, he's aflood in a wash of excited chatter as MC tells him about the gemstone mining kit Satan bought after reading a book on gemstones. In fact Diavolo can see the book open at Satan's elbow along with a notebook where the two have been identifying every gemstone they dig up.

Before he knows it, MC seizes his hand and he's drawn into the game, watching their eyes shine and seeing them bounce in their seat with excitement every time they uncover a new gemstone.

Dammit. Another failure. But, Diavolo finds as he watches MC's obvious joy, he can't be too frustrated when they're this happy. 

3. Shopping spree at Majolish

Diavolo is undeterred! He takes a day to bring them to Majolish, having them try on outfit after outfit. Sure, they're not picking out very many things, but he loves spending time with them and they say they're enjoying themself.

After several hours, Barbatos gently reminds him that he has a meeting soon and that MC seems absolutely exhausted.

Diavolo pouts, especially when he sees that MC hasn't picked out very many things, but he sighs and concedes.

When he drops them off at the HOL, MC gives him a hug and thanks him for helping them pick out some more formal outfits for any upcoming RAD events. Diavolo accepts the hug gladly, but there's no squeaking or jumping and DEFINITELY no flapping. MC seems rather exhausted, and Belphegor has appeared from nowhere and draped himself over MC and is mumbling about needing a nap buddy and MC isn't even trying to argue 

The next day, Barbatos shows him Levi's post on Devilgram. It's a video, of Levi giving MC a plain, unassuming box.

When MC opens the box, their mouth drops open, their eyes go wide, and they fling themselves at Levi, happily nuzzling into his chest and mumbling incoherent thanks while Levi turns bright red and starts stuttering and clearly tries not to combust

The video cuts out for a second and then starts again with MC wearing a simple shirt embroidered with a strange logo, which Levi explains from behind the camera is inspired by MC's favorite series and was handmade by Levi for practice. Levi was apparently asked to design formalwear inspired by anime, and he chose MC's favorite to practice a design. According to the caption, the two spent an entire day together watching the series and sketching ideas!

MC is beaming and happy stimming while Diavolo thumps his head into his desk dramatically and Barbatos elegantly stifles a chuckle behind him. 

4. Bouquets of flowers

Well now Diavolo is determined. HE WILL MAKE MC HAPPY STIM IF IT KILLS HIM

HE HAS HIS PRIDE AS THE FUTURE DEMON KING DAMMIT

He begins watching the corniest of romcoms for ideas.

Midway into one of them, he sees the character buy their love interest bouquets upon bouquets of roses

BRILLIANT! He's up and placing orders immediately. Barbatos stays behind for a few minutes to actually watch how this particular ploy works out on screen, before laughing and going to watch the chaos

As dedicated as he is to the young lord, watching Diavolo scramble around trying to impress his first puppy love only to fail because the target of his affections is simply too humble.... well, it's honestly adorable. He'll step in if it goes on for too long, but for now it might actually be good for the young master to experience something he can't have by throwing money or influence at it.

Diavolo has some of the Devildom's finest florists on the horn and he's sending a veritable flood of their finest cut flowers... AND he's sending them from an anonymous source, just like in the movie! The woman in the movie only sent over THREE bouquets to the object of her love, so Diavolo sends 300. Only the best for his MC :)

He's waiting impatiently for the results of his little scheme when he gets an apologetic text from Lucifer saying that he'll be late to the meeting and MC won't be coming at all. Some anonymous admirer sent MC an excessive amount of flowers and the sheer amount of pollen triggered allergies in ALL of the demon bros and MC.

Lucifer needed time to clear out the house and distribute allergy meds to everyone and buy out the nearest store on tissue paper

Barbatos is no longer even bothering to stifle his chuckles while Diavolo buries his face in his arms to hide his shame

To rub salt in the wound, Lucifer tells him a few days later that he set up a miniature greenhouse for MC to grow humanworld herbs in and they've barely left it in the last two days

Lucifer’s been spending most of his free time in the greenhouse with them, helping them tinker with humidity spells and listening to their excited monologues on human gardening techniques

Lucifer is definitely smirking as he tells Diavolo this and Diavolo doesn't bother to ask how Lucifer knew what was going on, because his old friend knows him too well and Diavolo realizes he's not exactly subtle.

What he doesn't realize is that Barbatos is also a dirty dirty snitch and he and Lucifer have been watching over his attempts with a mix of hilarity and pity

5. Desserts

Some might give up, but not Diavolo! His newest ideas is fancy desserts. He was told by a sweet old succubus that the best way to his lover's heart was through the stomach (actually she initially had some far raunchier suggestions that had made Diavolo blush and had given him some ideas for far, FAR in his future relationship with MC, but that's neither here nor there) and so here Diavolo is, placing a giant order at Madame Scream's to be delivered to the HOL.

This time he has learned from his mistakes and he signs it as being from him and addresses it to "MC and the residents of HOL" because even he recognizes there are far too many sweets for a human to eat before they go bad

Barbatos by this point is starting to feel pity and is almost tempted to suggest he wait until it's not Beel's day for Fangol practice to send a giant array of tempting sweets.

Almost. If it weren't for the maid cafe fiasco of last week Barbatos probably would have, but that lace had chafed in areas that should never be chafed.

Diavolo sent his gift only to receive a poorly drawn thank-you card drawn by Beel and signed by everyone at the HOL, including MC, even though "I didn't even get a chance to eat any, BEEL"

This poor man feels his soul leave his body, especially when he returns home from RAD to find Barbatos and MC baking together and singing along to Disney songs (well, MC was singing, Barbatos was simply watching them with a smile and occasionally twisting them into a simple dance to make them laugh and squiggle with joy)

Et tu, Barbatos?

After yesterday's glitter incident, Barbatos has no shame and simply smirks back. He'll help the young lord when he can shower without finding glitter in every crevice.

+1: Tea together

Diavolo is planning his next gift when he gets a message from MC, of all people

His heart flutters, he has butterflies in his stomach, and he hasn't even read it yet!

It's a simple text- "What are you up to?" 

Obviously Diavolo can't admit he's shirking paperwork to try and figure out a gift that would make them happy! So he improvises and claims he's working. He gets back a sad face emoji and a simple "Miss you! I feel like we haven't hung out in forever, but I know how busy you are. Good luck, I'm rooting for you!"

SHOT THROUGH THE HEART AND MC IS TO BLAME

This man is dramatically draped over his desk wailing about how cute MC is.

Luckily for him Barbatos has forgiven him for both the maid cafe incident and the glitter incident and Diavolo has been too distracted trying to plan gifts to cause any new chaos

Barbatos hands him a lovely picnic basket, complete with tea and fancy sandwiches, and tells him to go see MC and take a break since he's clearly not getting any work done as is.

Cue guilty glance to the overwhelming stack of paperwork that's been building up. He swears he's never seen Barbatos place more and yet they keep growing, are they breeding somehow...? Did Lucifer curse him after the taffy incident?

Either way, Diavolo takes the basket and heads off to HOL.

He's either very lucky or (more likely) Barbatos bribed Lucifer into helping him out, as MC is the one to answer the door.

They look kind of down until they see him and he explains he's there to spend time with them, and then they absolutely LIGHT UP.

Before he knows it, they've thrown himself into his arms and they're bouncing in excitement and snuggling him and happy flapping and boyo is confused but OVER THE MOON.

He finally did it!?!?! What was it!?!?! The picnic basket? Do they have a thing for picnics baskets!?!?! 

And then he actually tunes in a d listens to their flood of chatter and how happy they are to see him and how much they've missed him and how excited and grateful they are they he took time out of his busy schedule to spend time with him and out in the thought to prepare a way for them to spend time in each other's company...

O H

He is M E L T I N G

He can't believe it was this easy.... no need for fancy gifts or anything like that, just... paying attention to their likes and spending time with them???? 

Holy shit he is gonna protect this human's smile witH HIS LIFE 

And now that he understands them better he can buy EXPENSIVE SHIT THEY'LL ACTUALLY LIKE AND HE'LL GET ALL THE HAPPY SNUGGLES AND JOYOUS STIMMING IN THE WORLD!!!! 

Yes, he decides, wrapping his arms around them while trying to keep the basket level

Now that he's gotten a taste of their sincere joy, he's hooked and he's going to make them as excited and happy as this as often as he possibly can. 

[fromthedeskofelizabeththird]

Habanero

You're a good girl, well behaved.

Absolutely not the type to rail random guys in nightclubs.

Until you are.

Fandom: BNHA

Pairing: Aizawa x Reader, eventual polyamorous Erasermic x Reader

Rating: Gen

Trigger Warnings: None in this chapter. Just Nemuri and Hizashi being dweebs

AO3: Here | Want to support me? I have a Kofi

Chapter: 6/16 (all chapters)

While you slept and Shouta squinted at the collection of food in his fridge, Hizashi and Nemuri sat in silence at the izakaya.

They’d stayed at the school for much longer than planned to go over the upcoming sports festival. Going for a beer had seemed like a good idea at the time, but the alcohol only added to how tired they already were.

Nemuri picked at her garlic fries with one hand and rested her head on the other. Hizashi had mostly abandoned his beer in favour of checking his phone.

You had texted him when you found Shouta’s apartment and then again on the train ride home. That should have been the end of it, but he couldn’t stop opening and closing the thread. Almost everything about that sequence of events was strange. He had concluded mere weeks after meeting you that you were a charitable sort of person, so the fact that you had gone to see Shouta wasn’t out of the ordinary. He couldn’t, however, understand why Shouta had let you in.

“Say, Nemuri,” he said. “You’ve known Eraser about as long as I have, right?”

“Sure,” she said, “what’s on your mind?”

“In all of the time you’ve known him...has he ever...you know…”

Nemuri raised an eyebrow and he sighed.

“Dated?”

Nemuri’s reaction was all he needed to know. Instead of saying yes or no she cracked up into boisterous laughter, slapping her hand against the table.

“Good one!” she said, reaching up to wipe the tears from her eyes. “Do you remember Shinohara?”

Shinohara was a girl from general studies who attended UA at the same time they did. She had always been the shy sort, though just about everyone knew she had a crush on Aizawa. Everyone, that is to say, except Shouta himself. He never noticed that she blushed and hid when he passed her in the corridors. Whenever he found love notes in his locker he assumed they were meant for someone else.

Eventually Shirakumo got tired of his obliviousness and explained the truth of Shinohara’s feelings in detail. It was painful watching her be so thoroughly ignored, however innocently. He urged Shouta to say something to her, even if it meant letting her down gently.

That’s not exactly how it worked out, though.

Shouta did ask to meet her after school in one of the empty classrooms. He got there five minutes early and Shirakumo, Hizashi and Nemuri all hid in the classroom next door to eavesdrop. Shouta had never expressed any interest in anyone romantically or otherwise prior to this moment and it was strangely fascinating, like watching gorillas hump at the zoo.

Nemuri brought snacks; Hizashi brought custom made earphones from the support classes to listen in.

Shinohara was so excited that it was almost painful. She arrived several minutes late, having neatened up her hair and fixed her makeup. She was already incredibly awkward and, now that she was alone with her crush, stumbled over every word to cross her lips.

“Shinohara,” Shouta had said. “Is it true that you have feelings for me?”

She nodded.

“How long for?”

“Two years now.”

“I see. Well, don’t waste your time anymore. I don’t feel the same way.”

That was the last thing he ever said to her and Shirakumo, Nemuri and Hizashi all winced.

Years had passed since that moment and he had never expressed any desire to date or hint of a crush. They were pretty sure he’d never even had sex.

“What do you suppose his type is?”

Nemuri leaned back in her chair, still picking at her fries.

“Hmmmm,” she said. “Why do you ask?”

“Something strange is happening,” said Hizashi. “I spoke to (Name) earlier and she…”

He leaned over to whisper, as if he was about to reveal confidential information.

“...she called him by his first name.”

Nemuri dropped the fry in her hand.

“No!”

“She went to his apartment...and He. Let. Her. In…”

“You’re lying.”

“No, I swear,” he said, turning his phone to show her.

Nemuri read the message chain, eyes widening.

“We’ve fallen into an alternate dimension,” she said, aghast.

“The sky’s going to fall!”

“We have to do something about this,” she said. “(Name) is a kind person...perhaps he’s mistaking it for affection.”

“Could it be...he’s the Shinohara?”

“Oh my god,” said Nemuri, clapping a hand over her mouth. “He’s the Shinohara.”

“Poor Eraser,” Hizashi said, tears forming in his eyes, “and his maiden’s heart.”

“We have to do something,” said Nemuri, “I don’t know what a rejection would do to him.”

They both fell into a stunned sort of silence, going over their complicated situation.

“Wait a second,” said Hizashi, eyes bright. “I think I’ve figured it out.”

“Oh?”

He opened up his phone and searched through his photos.

“There was a girl a while ago,” he said. “We went to Ego and...here!”

He turned his phone so Nemuri could see the screen. He had taken a lot of photographs that night, many of which with fans who had gotten incredibly excited to see him. He had also filmed a video, which just so happened to face out onto the bar.

“Say cheers, listeners,” he yelled over the thumping music, tossing back shots with the crowd.

Hizashi paused the video and caught Nemuri’s eye.

“Did you see it?”

“I see that you went without me.”

“No, not that. Watch again.”

He restarted the video and paused it moments before he shouted cheers.

“Look.”

Nemuri peered over as he pointed to the screen, showing a clear shot of the bar, however briefly. It wasn’t much, given the darkness of the video and sheer number of people in the room, but it was enough to show Shouta sitting at the bar, and he wasn’t alone.

Hizashi pressed play and the video continued, though this time they both focused on Shouta and the mysterious woman with him. As Hizashi and the girls with him downed their drinks, Shouta led the mysterious woman away from the bar, hand in hers.

“Who is that?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t get a good look at her face.”

Nemuri took the phone and replayed the video several times, watching over and over as Shouta and the woman left the bar.

“For Eraser to show any interest, she must have had three tits or something.”

“Perhaps he’s still hung up on her.”

“You’re right.”

Hizashi took his phone back and shook his head.

“Poor (Name),” he said, “she has no idea she’s Eraser’s rebound.”

“She’s the Shinohara after all,” said Nemuri, wiping a tear from her eye.

“We have to do something,” said Hizashi. “At this rate both of them are going to get hurt.”

“As I see it, we have two options. We can find that girl and reunite our dear Eraser with the love of his life.”

“Ooooh, I like that. What’s the other option?”

“We play matchmaker. Get Eraser to forget that other woman and (Name) to consider him as husband material. That way neither of them is the Shinohara.”

Hizashi nodded sagely, picking up his beer.

“You know what we have to do,” he said, reaching up for a toast.

Nemuri nodded and lifted her own drink.

“That settles it then,” she said. “Once the sports festival is out of the way, it’s game on.”

“They’re not going to know what hit them.”

Unfortunately, through a grave misunderstanding, Nemuri and Hizashi had come to completely different conclusions.

Nemuri toasted to convincing you and Shouta of one another’s better qualities.

Hizashi toasted to finding the mysterious woman from Ego .

Little did they know that while these options appeared contradictory on a surface level they both led to the same outcome.

Similarly, neither you nor Shouta could possibly have predicted the chaos heading your way.

[pen-and-a-microphone]

Six The Musical Dance Masterpost!

This will be updated (in the reblogs) whenever I find new resources

An important update that will also be in the reblogs! The actors are not allowed to teach AYWD or IDNYL. No matter which workshops you book, the official line is that these are not allowed to be taught. 

In some cases, people teach different choreo to those songs, and that’s allowed. Due to this, I can’t be finding a way to notate that choreography and then post it. I’m pretty sure that’d get me in trouble, so I’m not gonna push it. I will keep providing tips for learning them, but I won’t go against the official instructions that the actors have been given.

Note I forgot to add but that applies to everything - squats. Do them frequently. There's a lot of squatting in the show, and boy you need good thigh muscles.

Ex-wives

The first and second verses are basically made entirely of posing. If you know the beats (which are very obvious and accented), the moves are easy. Each queen does something different on these beats, so you might want to pick one, or make up something of your own. These poses are the same in many live performances.

For the chorus(es), the moves are generally simple hip movements/steps. Easily followed from any bootleg copy you may have access to. The dance breaks/instrumentals are harder, and I have not yet found a proper tutorial for them.

Chorus and dance break performance, which could be followed. However it does end part way through, so I’d recommend just using this for the chorus/break section  - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFpqZjy54Ns

Visible choreography for the backing parts of the introductions verse (where the queens introduce themselves in a line/two lines) Deliberately pans out so that the chorus choreography is not visible, and the final chorus is from Six, not Ex-wives (this is a common thing in live performances of this) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJbaU4j0JCo

The final chorus mirrors the first, but so far I have not found a tutorial or live performance of this.

General advice - Learn the post-chorus dance break from the best source you have, since it’s the hardest part (if possible, and when I find one, I will put a tutorial for this section). The rest is very simple to follow from any performance, but make sure you’re watching the correct steps. Ex-wives is often performed live as a mashup with Six, so the choreo is different - there are quite a few live performances that I haven’t included links to, and this is for a reason.

No Way 

The intro is made solely of one movement repeated on a (helpfully emphasised) beat. Easy to see and follow from your bootleg.

There is not currently a tutorial or live that shows all of No Way (to my knowledge). It does have some full choreo (rather than just hip movements or basic steps) during the verses, that might be hard to follow from a bootleg

No Way dance class (NOTE: these moves are not in the correct order as far as I know, however this is a useful intro for how to do the steps. I used this to learn the movements, then used videos of live performances to put them together in the right order) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lzMd3oDAY0&t=4s

No Way second chorus and dance break, full tutorial - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehdKQoZN_cU&t=2908s

General advice - The dance break is really fast, and really difficult, but it’s not impossible if you take time to learn it - you can always put your YouTube at 0.75x speed (or even 0.5x, which I did while learning). Again, don’t follow the wrong choreo and get confused. Vicki’s tutorial is helpful for showing points you can “hit” if the full thing is too fast or difficult. It’s very Beyonce and pretty sassy, so have confidence. Lots of hip movement, and salsa moves.

Don’t Lose Ur Head

Intro is simple to follow from any bootleg.

Lots of acting in this one. Boleyn interacts with the backing singers in a very different way to Aragon. Luckily, this means less complicated choreography in the verses, because a lot of the movement is either “shock”, “running to another point on the stage” or “leaning in to hear the tea”. Basically choose your own facial expressions and movements, and later poses.

Perfect live performance. Easy to follow for the verses, especially the second (which I haven’t found in this clarity anywhere else, lots of performances cut away) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hY77XqKoNr4

DLUH choruses 1 and 2, tutorial - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uEhNp-nVDU

Dramatic wedding moment? Again just acting with some blocking

The third verse has hardly any choreo, which can be seen in the west end live performance. The build up to the final chorus (ie the back and forths of “what was I/she meant to do”) is just improv jamming, so make it up as you go along.

The final chorus looks very “improvised having fun”, but there is still choreography. It is much looser than the other choruses, which means you can have more fun with it than the very precise movements of the earlier choruses.

General advice - The first few bars of the choruses uses a really difficult step, one which looks easy. Spend ages on this, until it’s second nature, or you’ll struggle to do the choreography for the rest of the chorus. This song is very acting heavy, and aside from the first and second choruses, the choreo isn’t super precise. The neck movements are sharp, and there is a risk of giving yourself whiplash if you jump right in - remember to stretch your neck too, it has muscles and you can pull them (I’ve been there, trust me).

Heart of Stone

Time for a break! Heart of Stone does not, as far as I know, have any choreography. Probably good to give the queens a break from all that high intensity.

Haus of Holbein

There aren’t any live videos or tutorials (yet/as far as I know)

Fairly basic steps in the verses, which could be followed from a bootleg. Lots of box stepping and posing.

Choruses are just improv, they do whatever they want, provided they’re acting like they’re in a rave. I have no idea if these were ever properly choreographed, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the script just said “go insane”. There are some parts where they pause, but this can be followed from your bootleg.

The intro and outro are just walking diagonally, staggered one by one.

General advice - Have fun. Have all the fun. Go completely mad with your improv. The more dramatic you go, the better it fits with the song. Unlike DLUH, the chaos is not the choreographed kind.

Get Down

First verse is lots of tiny movements, which are easy to learn from live videos. Clicks, head movements, etc - precise, but simple.

A useful section for learning the first verse/chorus - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ik6zKj08A28

Performance with full choreo - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UlRCPLu9FM

Another performance with full choreo - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=io-cQWqAfX4

The end of this class has part of the chorus of Get Down, which is helpful for both learning the moves, and learning the general style of dance - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlWQBREK5Fw&t=10s

General advice - Full sass. Take your Beyonce sass levels from No Way and times them by 10. This is, in my opinion, the hardest dance in the show, so I struggle to give good advice about it. It’s hard, but there are plenty of videos showing the full thing - I’ve managed to learn it by slowing these videos down (0.75x speed on YouTube). There’s lots of isolation of specific body parts. However, cover all your mistakes with more sass - my personal trick is just acting like I’m doing it perfectly, because the sheer self confidence of this number is enough to carry you through.

All You Wanna Do

Full disclosure: I do not yet know this one. However, I have a dance class on Saturday with Aimie Atkinson, which should help me learn it. The following is therefore much more vague, and will be updated once I know more.

From what I’ve seen, the steps in this are quite repetitive. I think the choruses use the same choreo, or at least very similar. Very high energy, but much like the rest of the show, movements are on the beats (accented, clear beats, thank you ladies in waiting).

I Don’t Need Your Love

Again, I do not know this one well, but I will be updating when I do.

The majority of this of is like Heart of Stone - there���s no choreography, and the queens get a rest.

There’s a section of improv between the sitting down and the choreographed section, which is just the queens jamming.

The actual steps don’t start until “Remember that I was a writer”, and they’re very simple, not too precise, and could be followed from a bootleg.

Obviously in the actual show there is a break before the “remix” section, without dancing. The “remix” section has choreography, but again it is pretty simple.

The final chorus is the only one with full dancing, but there aren’t any versions I could find on YouTube, or any tutorials. However, I could follow it from my bootleg, and I think I’ll be able to learn it from just that.

Six

This quite nicely mirrors the previous numbers. For example, there isn’t any backing dancing for Seymour or Parr’s sections. Aragon’s section uses moves you will have already learnt in No Way. Cleves uses new moves but keeps her sass and the same sort of dance style. Boleyn and Howard do have new moves, which I think is a reflection on character development - the choreo is more fun and happy, similar to the starts of their numbers, but obviously not the endings.

Live performance that shows all the correct choreography - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqc3zJ1nva0

The chorus is super easy, and most of you probably already know it. These women have been doing what basically amounts to a high intensity workout for a solid 75 minutes, so the choreo was never going to be super hard/taxing.

Six main chorus, tutorial - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gjf1jrSFwsw&t=2s

The “we’re six” dance break is a little harder, but should be easy to follow from your bootleg.

[actualbird]

nobody asked but here are my personal top five pat gill videos | a 2.1k word long post where i rank and review pat gill’s videos for just way too long.

Right around the tail end of April, 2020, I fell into the rabbit hole of my current obsession; Polygon Dot Com Video Content. As a consequence of this was being introduced to the phenomenon of Pat Gill. A dire consequence of that consequence was me slowly, deeply, irrevocably, finding myself attracted to this marionette of a man. So, I enjoy his content and I think he’s hot and that combined with the fact that some of my friends bully me over that latter fact has inspired me to do this: rank my personal favorite Pat Gill videos in a post that’s entirely too long.

Before I get straight into the rankings, I need to explain my process. 

First, I needed to narrow my scope. Polygon has a lot of videos. Polygon has a lot of videos with Pat Gill in them. If I didn’t narrow my scope, I would either go bonkers yonkers or have a list that would be kilometric in length and thus miss the entire point of ranking altogether. So, for my sanity, I am excluding any videos that are a part of a Polygon video series. This means no Overboard, no Gill and Gilbert, no Video Game Theatre, etc. If I included these, I would cry. I do not want to cry over Polygon Dot Com Video Producer Pat Gill.

Second, I need a criteria. If I just ranked videos with no system, I would find myself endlessly rearranging my list based on whatever thought comes out on top in my mind at the given moment. I am a disorganized person, so I need rules. I have decided that I will rank Pat Gill videos using the EEEH criteria. 

Entertainment. Do I smile, watching the video? Do I chortle? Am I filled with the embarrassing urge to show this video to my sister and derive glee from her laughing at the exact same moment I laughed? Entertainment is key.

Education. Did I come out of this video knowing something I originally did not know? More importantly, was I engaged in the learning process? I come from a family of teachers, so I have high standards when it comes to education. If I am to learn, I must learn well.

Exaltation. This is a bit of an oddball criteria, but it is important to me. The word “exalted” is defined as “elevated in rank, character, or status.” This criteria refers to how good it is at exalting, elevating, pulling me out of a depressive episode. That is to say I’ve been in a depressive episode for the past month and whether or not the video made me stop crying and brush my teeth is essential. Polygon video content has been integral to my serotonin production lately, and thus the video’s ability of acting as an audiovisual antidepressant for me factors into the rankings.

[BONUS POINTS] Hotness. How Hot Is Pat Gill In It? I felt bad, morally, ranking videos based on how good looking I thought Pat Gill was in it---because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and all that, and people don’t exist to be beautiful, they just are, and I agree---so I’m relegating this criteria as a bonus point. Standard is 0, because he’s always hot in my mind, but he gets plus points if he is exemplary in the hotness department.

The maximum score for each of these criteria is 5 points, making the perfect score a 15, but because of the bonus points, a 20 is, hypothetically, possible. 

With that out of the way, let me dive right into it. 

5. The fastest interview ever with Ben Schwartz from Sonic the Hedgehog

Entertainment: 5 Education: 2 Exaltation: 2 Hotness: +2 Total Score: 11

Pat Gill is a good interviewer, he’s engaging and fun and keeps the interview interesting, but this interview is particularly special because it seems that, and let me quote Youtube user AudreyN who left a comment on this video stating “ben schwartz consumed all seven chaos emeralds prior to this interview.” Pat Gill and Ben Schwartz’s dynamic is amazing, and by “dynamic” I do mean “Ben Schwartz absolutely just fucking dunking on Pat Gill for 14 entire minutes.” and it is glorious.

For Entertainment this scores a solid 5. Quite honestly the funniest interview I’ve ever watched in my entire life. Just the sheer beauty in the exchange [Pat] “You would use Sonic’s power to gaslight me?” [Ben] “Just you.” In terms of Education, I guess I did learn a bunch of things about the Sonic movie that I didn’t know before, but the avenue by which it was portrayed in was not exactly the most engaging, more like I was absorbing it via watching two experts discuss on a webinar. I would have given just 1 point to Education but I made it 2 because of the wonderful knowledge that Pat Gill can draw a pretty good Sonic in a few seconds. When it comes to Exaltation, I must admit that while this video got quite a few laughs out of me, it didn’t make me want to get out of bed and take a shower. 

BONUS: Pat is +2 hot in it. His short hair makes him look very handsome. He’s a spiffy boy, in this video. Very, very good.  

4. Pat Will Not Tweet at Nintendo This Week Because He is Resting at Home — PLEASE RETWEET, Episode 12 

Entertainment: 5 Education: 0 Exaltation: 5 Hotness: +1 Total Score: 11

I know I’m breaking a rule I set for myself a few paragraphs earlier by including an episode of Please Retweet, which counts as a video series, but this is my post and I can do whatever I want. More importantly, this video is so fucking funny to me, it feels like it would be a crime not to put it in this list. 

Solid 5 out of 5 for entertainment. Pat Gill, alone in his apartment, drinking six cans of what I think is beer silently while the intro music plays. That scene in itself should win an Oscar. Sadly, a solid 0 for Education, because I learn nothing in this video except for the fact that Pat Gill is the type of person to put out a coaster and then just completely not use it. I quantify things as educational if I can maybe answer a trivia question with them, and unfortunately, this fact does not pass that test. In terms of Exaltation, seeing Pat Gill lie down on the floor next to his cat made me get out of bed to do the same with my dog, and with myself thusly out of my bed cocoon of sadness, I was able to actually complete tasks on the day I watched this video. Perfect 5.

BONUS: Pat is +1 hot in this because there’s something very beautiful about him being a little bit miserable. However, I do miss his beard when I watch this video. It is one of my favorite things about him, and it is not present here.

3. Pat and Simone Play Human: Fall Flat

Entertainment: 5 Education: 1 Exaltation: 5 Hotness: 0 Total Score: 11

I very much enjoy Polygon’s gameplay streams. I often play them in the background while I’m doing other stuff like doodling or origami, but this stream is special. It is special because of the moment at 24:00 when Pat Gill, in game, swings a stereo into a glass window, shattering it, while saying, “Actually, y’know what? Let’s talk about trauma.” and then proceeds to tell a horrible and embarrassing story from his childhood where he had to do a rap about Ancient Egypt. 

5 points for Entertainment. This is partly because of Pat’s tragic childhood story about the Egypt Rap (and, segue just to point out 33:22 the incredible moment where you can hear Pat’s feral panic when Simone finds the lyrics to the Egypt Rap) but also because Pat and Simone just talking to each other is so deeply entertaining to me in a very comfy way. I’m starved for human interaction, in this quarantime, okay. Let me enjoy listening to other people have conversations while playing video games. Education scores a 1 because, again, nothing in this video will let me answer a trivia question, however it does get 1 point and not a 0 because the Egypt Rap’s lyrics are in the comments and I did end up learning stuff about Ancient Egypt that I didn’t know. A perfect 5 for Exaltation because this video showed me that talking about trauma can actually be cathartic, given that you’re trashing a video game living room at the same time, and I think that message of not bottling up your experiences really helped me, in these trying times.

BONUS: Pat Gill is not visible for the entirety of this episode, so he scores the standard 0. I’m sure he was hot. We just couldn’t see him.  

2. Why Bloodborne and Muppets are the same thing

Entertainment: 4 Education: 4 Exaltation: 3 Hotness: +2 Total Score: 12

Ah yes, one of Pat’s “x is y because of z” videos. He’s made a number of these and they’re all very good but this one is my favorite among them and earns a spot on this list because 1) I think puppets are cool and 2) I fucking love monsters. 

This video scores a 4 on Entertainment, just shy of perfect, because as funny as it is, it also gives me the vibe like I am being lectured by a professor who’s just a little bit off the shits. And we all know that lectures are supposed to be taken seriously. Which brings us to Education, which also scores a 4. I learned a lot in this video! Watching Pat Gill explain to me that children’s puppets and these horrifying viddy game monsters use the same character principles in different ways is not only very educational but is also explained in a streamline and easy to understand manner that I WISH some of the shitty professors at my old university could emulate. As for Exaltation, while this video did give me enough energy to have a meal, I did eventually end up back in bed for the night at 8pm crying myself to sleep, thinking “I’m like the slime scholar. Used to be a scholar. Now they’re slime.” 

BONUS: Pat Gill is +2 hot here. He’s rockin that basic ass monochromatic aesthetic and I love his look dearly. 

1. Preparing for Big Boy Season in Red Dead Redemption 2 

Entertainment: 5 Education: 3 Exaltation: 5 Hotness: +3 Total Score: 16

Here we are. My favorite non video series Pat Gill video. The video where Pat Gill tries to make Red Dead Redemption 2 protagonist, Arthur Morgan, large. 

Perfect fucking 5 for Entertainment, which I’m sure many may find odd. Afterall, this video is told in a serious investigative tone reminiscent of Vox’s videos on current issues. But that’s the glory of it. The complete and utter ‘playing it straight and serious’ for a ridiculous issue in a video game. It is high tier comedy in a subtle, understated way that sings to my comedy loving heart in a melody so lovely, so wonderful, that it urged me to give this video 5 points for Entertainment. It scores 3 on Education, because I have never played Red Dead Redemption 2, nor will I ever, but now I know things about it. The information was also relayed to me in a very interesting style, via something like a crime procedural, and thus it was engaging for me to absorb all this new knowledge. Exaltation scores a perfect 5 because of this video’s beautiful end about existential smallness. No joke, but hearing Pat Gill say “Our bigness isn’t measured in pounds, but in the impact we have on the people with whom we shared the world.” deadass made me want to talk to my friends again after conversationally isolating myself for 3 days. Preparing for Big Boy Season has a special place in my heart. And there it will stay.

BONUS: Pat Gill is not visible for most of the video but he does appear for like 15 seconds in the middle of it, and guess what. He’s hot. +3 hotness. Good beardage, good hair, all in all, good Pat Gill. 

So there you have it. My five favorite Pat Gill videos. If you read this whole thing, holy shit. You’re welcome, I guess.